The Sting

Doug came home last night and we were doing our normal 'catch up' chatting.  He then took a big sigh and told me that one of his fellow teachers and her husband are expecting their first baby.  

Then I saw it.  I saw 'The Look'. He had the same look on his face that I've had on my face a dozen times.  The look that says, "I'm really happy for them, really I am.... but this hurts.  It stings.  When will it be our turn?  Why is it so easy for other people and so hard for some?"  That look on his face (and the news) stung - bad - for both of us. 

I think the news stung even more last night than with other pregnancy announcements.  I don't even know this couple.  Why should their wonderful news affect me so much?  Because it was the first time that a pregnancy announcement affected my husband.  It was the first time I saw the pain in his eyes that I've felt in my heart for the past year.  It was the first time I saw the fear that we will never have a little announcement of our own.  It was the first time I saw how much infertility hurts my husband.  And that just stings.