100 Days

It's been just over 100 days since my surgery!  Can you believe it?!  The time has flown by so quickly and for that, I am grateful!  I'm down over 60 pounds and feel great.

A good friend asked me if it has been easier or harder than I imagined.  To be honest, I think it has been much easier than what I had envisioned it would be like pre-surgery.  I have never once regretted having the surgery.  It has been a fantastic tool for me.  I still have to do the work and I always will, but it has made doing what I need to do, well, doable.

Why?  Here is goes.

Things that are easier:

1. Sickness.  I swore I would get sick and throw up and not feel good.  I was so not looking forward to that aspect of the surgery.  I thought I'd take a bite and be running to the bathroom.  This happens to people.  But for me... NOT.AT.ALL.  I have felt great.  There has not been one tiny ounce of nausea.  No sickness.  Nothing.  I got VERY lucky with this one.

2. Eating.  I swore there would be things I could not eat anymore.  I'm sure there are - sugars and such.  But everything that is on my plan, has been fine.  I'd heard so many stories of people not being able to eat chicken or lean beef or drink milk, etc.  Nope, not me.  I've been able to stomach (haha) everything.  I did have a bite of pot roast once and I thought that might not be the best thing for me, but I never liked that anyway, so that could be it.  Other than that, everything has gone down just fine  - including all restaurant food, which is great!!

3. Being around yummy food I can't eat.  I swore this would be soooo hard too.  It was always my downfall in other diets and such.  But this time around, it hasn't been an issue.  I had really tried to mentally prepare myself for this aspect of surgery.  It's one thing when you can sneak a bite and get over a temptation, but I can't do that.  I do not eat at anytime other than my small meals.  I use to graze and eat when I'd like or when I got hungry.  I cannot do that anymore and this is a huge change.

One of my WLS friends asked me how I deal with being around food that I cannot have right now or not eating between meals.  I told her honestly, that it is easier now, than it has ever been in my life.  WHY?  Because I simple DO NOT have the option of eating certain items.  Could I?  Maybe, probably. But is it on my meal plan?  NO.  Do I want to risk eating something before my stomach is ready?  Nope!  It's just not worth it.  If I'm tempted, I say a little prayer, offer it up and walk away.  Now, I do think that this will be harder come next year.  Very hard.  It will be something that I will have to be very vigilant about.

4. Eating my small amounts while others are eating away.  I was unsure how I'd feel about eating around others.  I have my tiny 1 and 2 ounce containers and they have a regular meal.  I was afraid I'd feel awkward.  I might have been a little awkward at first, but now it does not bother me a bit.  It also does not even phase me if I just sit and drink my water while people eat a meal.  My lunch friends and I will go out to eat at times.  I tag along to be social.  I usually bring a protein bar or my water and just talk while they eat.  They have been so supportive and it does not bother me at all.  They all had delicious looking food the other day and I drank my water.  I think it bothers them more than me.  There have been times that I've ate while we were out as well.  I just tend to eat mid-morning and late afternoon, so a normal "lunch" time does not fit in with my eating schedule.  Since the rest of the world does not revolve around me and my eating schedule (it's shocking, I know!), then I just adapt and roll with it!

5.  I'm sure there are other things... but you get the idea.  :)

Things that are harder:

1. Eating.  Sometimes I just do not want to.  I still have no hunger.  I do not skip meals, but sometimes, I'm just not interested.

2. Cooking.  Goes right along with # 1.  Sometimes I'd rather just eat some cheese than cook a tiny tiny meal.  Luckily, Doug and I are able to share meals and can now eat a lot of the same things.  It makes it all easier! We ALWAYS have leftovers!

3. Keeping my pants up!  Hahahaha!  But seriously, this is GREAT!!!  One week jeans will fit great.  I'll put them on the next week and they will be falling off by the end of the day.  I dry all my jeans on high now - I never did that before.  It's almost like I skipped this size when I was gaining weight.  I have a ton of clothes just a size or so lower and a ton in larger sizes.  So, I just have to get creative.  This is a good thing!!!

4. Ummm... I've got nothing else!

EASIER wins!  This is NOT the case for everyone, but I have been a case of 'best case scenario' for everything.  No complications, no nothing.   I have adjusted to everything with ease.  It's not always easy and it's not always perfect, but for the most part all is good and I am blessed!

I love wearing green!

I LOVE holidays where the entire country dresses in the same color. Four out of five Americans are wearing green today and for some reason, I love it! They might not realize they are celebrating a saint, but still!

Here is a picture of me wearing green last year. It was around April and when I was feeling my heaviest. It was also right after the tragic hair cut.


That green shirt was way too big for me this year. My hair is doing a heck of a lot better too! Here is a picture from this morning. :)


Much much better all around in 2011!! Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Puppy Play Date!

Doug and I went to bed tonight at 6:30PM!!!  I think we were both asleep by 7PM.  We were both so sleepy.  Dang daylight savings times.  Our internal clocks are messed up.  We have NEVER gone to bed that early.  So, at 10PM, I woke up and felt like I'd been sleeping all night.  Not so much! Doug is still sound asleep.  I normally wake up around 2AM for about an hour... so I'm hoping that this little sleep break is just that and I'll drift back to sleep shortly.  So, what's a girl to do when she wakes up in the middle of the night?  Blog about her new puppy of course!

She's cute and she knows it. :)

We finally got to snuggle and play with Daisy!  It was so fun to finally meet her and see her cute little self in person.  We had a great time and now are so anxious to bring her home in two weeks.  :)  Here are some pics!  Oh... and consider these my three month WLS progress pics for now.  I haven't taken any official ones lately!

Love at first sight!

Seriously adorable!

Ahhhh... puppy love.

Happy family.

After some playing... the puppies were exhausted!

Proud parents - Buster and Princess.

P.S.  Doug's been having some stomach pain and had some tests run today.  If you could spare some prayers for him... It would be much appreciated! :)

Puppies and Infertility

As you all know, I am counting down the days until we bring Daisy, our little ball of cuteness home.  We just have three weeks until we have a bouncy cuddly puppy in our house.  I cannot really describe how excited I am to have this addition to our family.  Seriously, I'm bouncing up and down and I don't do a lot of bouncing in my life.  But why? Why am I so excited?  Why do I feel that I NEED this puppy?  Why do I feel that if we weren't getting this puppy and I didn't have this to look forward to, I would be an infertile emotional wreck?

I've always loved dogs.  I had two of them growing up and I loved them to pieces.  We got our first when I was in pre-school, so I don't even remember life without a four-legged friend.  When I was in 7th grade, from one state to another due to my dad's job and my mom and I were terribly homesick.  It was a very tumultuous time for my family - there was a lot going on.  One night, my brother and I, without my parents knowledge, went and got a puppy from a local farm to add to our pack.  I don't know how he convinced me to do this without telling my mom and dad, but he did.  I took one look at the pup that would be our beloved Dee Dee and my rule-following self, flew out the window!  We took her home, put a big red bow on her and 'gave' her to our dad for his birthday. What were we thinking??!! As mad as my parents were that we just went and got a puppy, they quickly fell in love with Dee Dee.  When I was homesick, Dee Dee was there to bring some much needed joy to my life.  When my mom was home alone while my brother and I were at school and my dad was at work, it was Dee Dee (and our older dog B.J., too) who comforted my mom from her deep feelings of homesickness too.  Dee Dee was our little Indiana 'savior' if you will.  He was the one thing that made moving in the middle of 7th grade (bad, bad time to move) bearable.  Dee Dee provided much needed healing for my family at that time.  I now associate that healing and joyous feeling with having a dog.

That brings us to our to-be pup, Daisy.  While Doug and I had talked about getting a dog for some time now, we really hadn't planned to get a dog for a few more years.  In our perfect pre-marriage world, we thought we'd have some kids, get a dog and live happily ever after.  Then infertility struck.  I think I do semi-ok with it most days, some are obviously better than some.  The past several months have been hard.  Real hard.  It is constantly there.  There are constant reminders that we cannot conceive.  It feels like a huge weight that is constantly sitting on my heart.  On the good days, it just feels heavy.  On the bad days, it feels like a mountain that I cannot move.

I am well aware that Daisy is not a baby.  She's a dog.  A pretty stinkin' cute dog, but a dog, nonetheless. She will not fill the void I feel because we do not have children.  But I would be lying to myself and everyone else, if I did not recognize that we are upping our timeline for a dog because of our current state of infertility.  It's so obvious.  I know it and am well aware of it.  But honestly, I don't care.  Daisy has already brought us so much joy, I don't care what the psychological reasons are behind bringing her into our lives.  She has relieved some of the constant IF weight on my chest.  She has given me something joyous to look forward to.  She has given me much needed focus on what is good in my life -- what blessings I/we do have.  She doesn't make me forget that we don't have a baby to love.  But with her, I get to use my mothering side and that, somehow, gives me a little hope for the future.  If our puppy parenthood skills are any indication of how we will be at parents... then we will definitely rock.  We've already gotten Daisy enrolled in puppy school and have her first several vet appointments set up.  With each little puppy toy we buy, I feel elated.  We are getting her 'room' set up, buying baby gates (ha!) and are setting up puppy play dates.  With her in our lives, it seems as if some of the sadness that has encapsulated our home lately, is slowing pealing away.  Daisy makes me unbelievably happy.  Right now, I will gladly take that!!

We have a play date with Daisy next weekend.  Get ready for picture overload! In the meantime... here she is.  She is getting so big!!!  I'm so in love!

Daisy at one month old!