This Advent, I had the privilege to pray for C over at The Forgotten.
I tried to pray my little heart out for you C. I know you are struggling. While I never would assume I know how you feel, I had a similar 'wait' for my DH to come into my life. I was a bridesmaid, never a bride (or even close) for YEARS! Most of my friends celebrated their 10 year anniversary before I even met DH. It sucked - big time. Now I wait again... this time for something else entirely.
I will continue to pray for you while you wait and try to find your way back to God. I know I am not the only one who is praying for you and looking forward to the day that you fully understand and know the depth of HIS love for you... and your future DH's love too!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Blessed.
Even on the days when I feel down, I look around and know, without a doubt, that I am so blessed. I am a child of God. I have an amazing husband who is more wonderful than I will ever deserve. I have amazing parents who have continue to teach me the value of love, hope and faith. I have the love and support of friends from all over the country (and Canada). I have one heck of a cute dog. I even have a stinky cat. What a blessed life.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
What a difference a year makes.
"Baby Leo... Can you believe it has been a whole year since my surgery
and since you were born??" Me neither kid!
We've come a long way baby.
Over 100 pounds down for me... up 21.5 for Leo! Win win!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Why did I do it?
I knew I shouldn't have.
I knew it wouldn't end well.
I still did it.
I POAS this morning - on day 26.
I admit, I (and DH) had a little hope.
Dang hope. It gets me every time.
I knew it wouldn't end well.
I still did it.
I POAS this morning - on day 26.
I admit, I (and DH) had a little hope.
Dang hope. It gets me every time.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Sunday Quick Takes and an Award!
1. I am finally feeling almost back to normal after my surgery. No more pain really. One incision is all healed... one's still getting there and is a little bothersome at times, but ok. I'm almost at the one month post-op point... whoo too!
2. I'm still breaking down crying all the time. I can start crying at a drop of a hat. I hear a song - cry. I think of having a baby - cry. I think of not having a baby - cry. Mainly I just tear up and then pull it together. If I get to work without crying in the car, it's a good day. I don't know what's up with this, but this is a little nuts!
3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas cards! I love getting them and sending them out! When I was single, I always handmade my cards I sent out. After all, I didn't want to stick a picture of myself on a card. That would have looked a little silly. I always looked forward to getting married and doing a fun picture Christmas card. NOW... I LOVE that I can do picture cards! LOVE! It makes me so happy! And I love getting the cards and seeing all the pictures and how all the kids grow up. Seriously, makes me smile from ear to ear!
4. We are doing less decorating this Christmas. It feels like I'm finally feeling better and finally have the house semi-cleaned and back together and now it's time to decorate. It felt overwhelming for some reason. Plus, we do have that playful puppy. I had visions of her eating all the decorations. NOPE! Cannot not happen. We decided to do a small tree, instead of our normal huge one. It turned out great. It was a whopping $17 to buy and decorate! It's also behind a little gate and is so far puppy safe. We decorated the mantle and a few other things around the house, plus put two little trees outside. It's all nice and simple! Love it! (Granted... this simple look, still required getting 5 tubs out of the attic... but baby steps, right?!)
| Daisy wanting to eat the tree. |
5. I love Hebrews and JellyBelly.
6. I am joining a Catholic book club! Yay! I'm so excited to meet some new fun Catholic ladies, drink some wine (or watch others drink wine since I haven't had anything to drink since my surgery last year), and have a little fun. I think it will be a good time.
7. I was warned my first cycle after surgery would be hard and emotional. It has been. Physically, it was hard and mentally, it's been exhausting. I feel SO MUCH PRESSURE to have this work! I want it to work SO BAD and NOW! I don't even know what really went on this cycle. I was charting and everything was all over the place. I must remember it's THE FIRST CYCLE! We are starting over! It's ok to be hopeful! But man, I am so afraid of hope! I have it... I believe we will conceive, but at the same time I prepare myself that it will not be this cycle. But then, I'm hopeful it will be THIS FIRST cycle. It's a vicious cycle that I go through hour after hour each day. Hmmmm.... maybe that is why I'm crying and feeling crazy all the time! :) AHHH! Let the 2WW go fast!! I am not patient at all!
8. Just one more... I received TWO Liebster Blog Award from JellyBelly and Always Giving Thanks! Thank you for your nomination!
The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. In return for the award, the recipient bestows the award on five of their favorite bloggers.
Thanks ladies. I'm not sure if everyone has already been awarded one... but I will give it a go anyway.
My nominees are:
4. Chasing Joy
Upon receipt of the Liebster Blog Award, there are a few very simple rules: (BUT NO PRESSURE!)
1. Copy and paste the award on your blog
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thankful
This Thanksgiving, I am overwhelmed by all the love and support of all my blogger friends. I am SO THANKFUL for all of you!! I cannot express that enough! When I stop to think about how wonderful you all are, I just tear up. You are truly the best!
I am also feeling very thankful for.... the best fertile mucus I.Have.Ever.Seen! Unfreakinbelieveable!Whoo Hooo! That makes for a very happy Thanksgiving!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Gobble Gobble!
| Yep, I dressed Daisy up like a Pilgrim. Hehe. |
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Post-Op Report and The Crazies
Doug and I met with Dr. G last week. He's a funny, quirky little man. He just cracks me up and I'm not sure why. He can bolting into the room for our follow-up visit, screaming... "You're alive! You're alive!" Haha! For some reason I was crazy nervous about the appointment, almost shaking, and this little quirky gesture calmed me down. Yay Dr. G.
Anywho... Dr. G said the surgery went perfect, absolutely perfect! That was music to my ears. It was SO.GOOD.TO.HEAR. He basically explained that I was full of endometriosis and had some adhesion's around both of my ovaries, tubes and bladder. He did say that I did not have an ounce of scar tissue from my surgery last year! He spent the majority of the surgery removing all that nasty endo. When he removed all the endo from the left side, my left tube OPENED! It had not only been blocked by fluid inside, but it was all twisted and kinked up due to the endo. He was able to get the dye to go through the tube instantly!! WHOOOO HOOOO!
On the right side, he 'unstuck' my ovary from my cervical wall. Praise the Lord! That dang ovary, a.k.a The Gremlin, was causing me SO MUCH PAIN! Once he removed the endo, the right tube also became free and dye was able to glide right through it!
Dr. G said that Doug and I need to give baby making the good ole try for the next few months. He wants me to have a few unmedicated cycles before seeing him again for ovulation help, drugs, etc. He said to give him a call mid-January if I am either not cycling normally by then and/or I am not pregnant. Who are we kidding?? I'm calling January 2nd to set up an appointment.
He also said my cycle would start soon. And it did. A whole TWO HOURS later I started spotting and that moved right into the heaviest bleeding I have seen in a long time. Sorry if that's TMI! I did not know that's what he meant by 'soon'! The first few days of my cycle were the worst. I had so much cramping and pain that I had to break out the heavy duty pain meds. I'm not sure what the rest of the cycle will bring me... but I'm thinking it might be a little wonky this month since it's right after surgery and all.
I left the appointment both excited and petrified. This is really our first real chance of conceiving. I know I still have the history of not ovulating regularly, but at least my tubes are open and I'm not full of endo. It feels like a new TTC start, when we've already been trying two years.
I cried the whole way home from the appointment. I'm scared that this cycle and everyone following will be wonky. I won't ovulate, the ovulatory drugs won't work and we will just end up with a house full of dogs. Granted, I love dogs, but it's not what we are going for right now.
I pretty much haven't stopped crying all weekend. Every little thing gets me going! Dr. G also said my emotions might be all over the place for a bit. I already knew that! Jelly Belly and Hebrews filled me in on that!! Seriously... I have a major case of the crazies! I go from happy to crying in a flipping heartbeat. It is almost comical!!! I cry, then I laugh about it! Thank goodness that Jelly Belly is as crazy as me right now! I don't know what I'd do without her right now!! Hehe.
So now, I'm just going to start from scratch. I'm curious how this month will go... and the next... and the next. But I will try to take it all day by day, month by month. I'm not sure how I will do that, but I will do the best I can. Dr. G did tell Doug and I to go home and 'do our homework'... so maybe that will help! :)
Anywho... Dr. G said the surgery went perfect, absolutely perfect! That was music to my ears. It was SO.GOOD.TO.HEAR. He basically explained that I was full of endometriosis and had some adhesion's around both of my ovaries, tubes and bladder. He did say that I did not have an ounce of scar tissue from my surgery last year! He spent the majority of the surgery removing all that nasty endo. When he removed all the endo from the left side, my left tube OPENED! It had not only been blocked by fluid inside, but it was all twisted and kinked up due to the endo. He was able to get the dye to go through the tube instantly!! WHOOOO HOOOO!
On the right side, he 'unstuck' my ovary from my cervical wall. Praise the Lord! That dang ovary, a.k.a The Gremlin, was causing me SO MUCH PAIN! Once he removed the endo, the right tube also became free and dye was able to glide right through it!
Dr. G said that Doug and I need to give baby making the good ole try for the next few months. He wants me to have a few unmedicated cycles before seeing him again for ovulation help, drugs, etc. He said to give him a call mid-January if I am either not cycling normally by then and/or I am not pregnant. Who are we kidding?? I'm calling January 2nd to set up an appointment.
He also said my cycle would start soon. And it did. A whole TWO HOURS later I started spotting and that moved right into the heaviest bleeding I have seen in a long time. Sorry if that's TMI! I did not know that's what he meant by 'soon'! The first few days of my cycle were the worst. I had so much cramping and pain that I had to break out the heavy duty pain meds. I'm not sure what the rest of the cycle will bring me... but I'm thinking it might be a little wonky this month since it's right after surgery and all.
I left the appointment both excited and petrified. This is really our first real chance of conceiving. I know I still have the history of not ovulating regularly, but at least my tubes are open and I'm not full of endo. It feels like a new TTC start, when we've already been trying two years.
I cried the whole way home from the appointment. I'm scared that this cycle and everyone following will be wonky. I won't ovulate, the ovulatory drugs won't work and we will just end up with a house full of dogs. Granted, I love dogs, but it's not what we are going for right now.
I pretty much haven't stopped crying all weekend. Every little thing gets me going! Dr. G also said my emotions might be all over the place for a bit. I already knew that! Jelly Belly and Hebrews filled me in on that!! Seriously... I have a major case of the crazies! I go from happy to crying in a flipping heartbeat. It is almost comical!!! I cry, then I laugh about it! Thank goodness that Jelly Belly is as crazy as me right now! I don't know what I'd do without her right now!! Hehe.
So now, I'm just going to start from scratch. I'm curious how this month will go... and the next... and the next. But I will try to take it all day by day, month by month. I'm not sure how I will do that, but I will do the best I can. Dr. G did tell Doug and I to go home and 'do our homework'... so maybe that will help! :)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Soooo Sleepy Post-Op
The surgery itself went really well. Dr. G was able to remove a ton of endo from all over the place, detach my ovary from my abdominal wall and OPEN BOTH TUBES!!!!!! Whoo hoo! Did you read that??!! BOTH TUBES ARE OPEN!!!!!
I guess I kept asking all the recovery room nurses about my tubes and my stuck ovary. I have long called the painful ovary the Gremlin. I guess they didn't know what I was talking about when I kept asking, "Is the gremlin gone?" Hehe. I wanted to know... even in my drugged state of mind.
I was also feeling a little sick to my stomach in recovery. FYI... do NOT try to gag yourself in the recovery room to get rid of your sick feeling. It does NOT go over well with the nurses. I was so out of it, I didn't even know I was doing it... but they did and made someone stay right by me the whole time. :)
The first few days home went well. I rested and tried to eat a little and drink fluids. I just didn't do that great with that goal. I felt really calm, from the pain meds most likely, so I thought I was doing great. Now... I'm crazy exhausted, dehydrated and can hardly keep my eyes open to type.
I'm pretty sure I overdid it the last few days and I'm crashing on post-op day 3. I had blood work done today and they took 15 vials of blood and all my energy with it. Fifteen vials! WTH?! I could hardly move afterwards. EXHAUSTED!
I'm still having lots of gas pain and I am just plain sore all over. I am in need of some serious sleep since I've been up most nights since I've been home. I just cannot manage to sleep for a few hours at a time.
I'm working on getting my bowels and bladder to finally wake up. That's been a challenge that Jelly Belly and I have been commiserating about. I mean really... how does a bladder just forget what to do??!! I expected the bowels to be a little behind... but not the bladder! Crazy body! It is nice to have Jelly Belly as a surgical buddy! :)
Whenever I do not feel that great... I just say to myself... "TWO TUBES!" That makes this all worth it!!
Now... I'm off to get some needed sleep!
Thanks for all your prayers ladies... they are working!!! And thanks for bringing over the yummy dinner Beth!! You're the best!
I guess I kept asking all the recovery room nurses about my tubes and my stuck ovary. I have long called the painful ovary the Gremlin. I guess they didn't know what I was talking about when I kept asking, "Is the gremlin gone?" Hehe. I wanted to know... even in my drugged state of mind.
I was also feeling a little sick to my stomach in recovery. FYI... do NOT try to gag yourself in the recovery room to get rid of your sick feeling. It does NOT go over well with the nurses. I was so out of it, I didn't even know I was doing it... but they did and made someone stay right by me the whole time. :)
The first few days home went well. I rested and tried to eat a little and drink fluids. I just didn't do that great with that goal. I felt really calm, from the pain meds most likely, so I thought I was doing great. Now... I'm crazy exhausted, dehydrated and can hardly keep my eyes open to type.
I'm pretty sure I overdid it the last few days and I'm crashing on post-op day 3. I had blood work done today and they took 15 vials of blood and all my energy with it. Fifteen vials! WTH?! I could hardly move afterwards. EXHAUSTED!
I'm still having lots of gas pain and I am just plain sore all over. I am in need of some serious sleep since I've been up most nights since I've been home. I just cannot manage to sleep for a few hours at a time.
I'm working on getting my bowels and bladder to finally wake up. That's been a challenge that Jelly Belly and I have been commiserating about. I mean really... how does a bladder just forget what to do??!! I expected the bowels to be a little behind... but not the bladder! Crazy body! It is nice to have Jelly Belly as a surgical buddy! :)
Whenever I do not feel that great... I just say to myself... "TWO TUBES!" That makes this all worth it!!
Now... I'm off to get some needed sleep!
Thanks for all your prayers ladies... they are working!!! And thanks for bringing over the yummy dinner Beth!! You're the best!
My surgical happy feet! :)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
J's surgery update!
Hi y'all, it's Hebrews updating for J. Just got a text from her hubby that said the surgery went well and that the doc was very pleased. J is in recovery now. Her hubby also said the doc thinks they should hopefully be able to get pregnant but may need some meds to help.
What great news! God is so good. Let's keep praying for a swift recovery for her! If her hubby sends any more info I'll be sure to put it up here.
What great news! God is so good. Let's keep praying for a swift recovery for her! If her hubby sends any more info I'll be sure to put it up here.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Surgery day is here!
Tomorrow (11/9 @ 2pm) is my endo/tube-fixing surgery. The house is clean, the laundry is done and I'm ready to go!
I keep going back and forth from soooo excited to absolutely petrified. That usually happens within a matter of minutes, so it has been an interesting day. I've had a few interesting nights as well. Last night I had a dream that they took ALL OF MY ORGANS out of my body. All of them. Not sure how I was alive without them, but I was! The doctors kept telling me the surgery was a success... there was no more endo after all! Ummm... NO!
The petrified part has filled up my day today. I have been SO POSITIVE about the surgery. But today, I let the fear of the surgery not working come in and take over. Ugh. I hate it when I do that. I don't doubt having the surgery. I need it. I want to feel better. I want to have less or no pain. I want my tubes to work. I'm just scared something will go wrong or the surgery will not work as planned and there will still be no baby. That's my biggest fear... no baby.
I went to mass tonight and felt peaceful for the first time all day. I stopped in the adoration chapel and felt even better. My priest anointed me on Sunday and I love that. I feel protected and that there will be a whirlwind of prayers all around me tomorrow. I still have fears, but am trying to just remain calm and be positive.
If you could please pray for a successful surgery, it would be greatly appreciated. And if you want to add in a prayer that they do NOT take organs out of my body, it would be greatly appreciated. :)
Mother of Tranquility and Mother of Hope, look upon me in this time of my weakness and unrest. Teach my searching heart to know that God's love for me unchangeable; and that true human love can only begin and grow by touching His love. Let your gentle peace which this world cannot give be always with me. And help me to bring this same peace into the lives of others. Our Lady of Mental Peace, pray for me.
I keep going back and forth from soooo excited to absolutely petrified. That usually happens within a matter of minutes, so it has been an interesting day. I've had a few interesting nights as well. Last night I had a dream that they took ALL OF MY ORGANS out of my body. All of them. Not sure how I was alive without them, but I was! The doctors kept telling me the surgery was a success... there was no more endo after all! Ummm... NO!
The petrified part has filled up my day today. I have been SO POSITIVE about the surgery. But today, I let the fear of the surgery not working come in and take over. Ugh. I hate it when I do that. I don't doubt having the surgery. I need it. I want to feel better. I want to have less or no pain. I want my tubes to work. I'm just scared something will go wrong or the surgery will not work as planned and there will still be no baby. That's my biggest fear... no baby.
I went to mass tonight and felt peaceful for the first time all day. I stopped in the adoration chapel and felt even better. My priest anointed me on Sunday and I love that. I feel protected and that there will be a whirlwind of prayers all around me tomorrow. I still have fears, but am trying to just remain calm and be positive.
If you could please pray for a successful surgery, it would be greatly appreciated. And if you want to add in a prayer that they do NOT take organs out of my body, it would be greatly appreciated. :)
Mother of Tranquility and Mother of Hope, look upon me in this time of my weakness and unrest. Teach my searching heart to know that God's love for me unchangeable; and that true human love can only begin and grow by touching His love. Let your gentle peace which this world cannot give be always with me. And help me to bring this same peace into the lives of others. Our Lady of Mental Peace, pray for me.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Dad Update
Hey prayer warriors! You gals ROCK!! Super duper ROCK!!
Doug and I headed to Ohio this weekend to visit with my dad and help my mom out some. It was a much needed trip. Last week when I left, he was still in the hospital. A few days later, they moved him to his rehabilitation facility and he still was in bad shape. Dad sounded so bad. He was having trouble talking. He was beyond exhausted and you could hear the pain in every word he spoke.
I was beyond worried. Seriously, I can count on one hand the times I've heard my dad complain or say he was in pain... and there have been PLENTY of times in his life that he had every right to complain and scream in pain. He just never does. So, when I heard him talking about how horrible he felt, it was crushing.
Throughout the week, his spirits seemed to improve. He was joking more and while still saying he hurt all over, seemed to be getting some of his surgical complications under control. But still in extreme pain. I would be too - 4 back fusions and 38 staples. OUCH!!!! He would speak of his physical therapy going well and how he was walking more! Good stuff!
I had a feeling I would see an improved dad when we went to the rehab center yesterday. Improved he was! He looked great! He had some color back in his face (still pretty pale) and up and moving around! He looked more like himself and his spirits were up and great! I think not being in a hospital gown helps with that a bit! Could I use more exclamation points???!!!
We basically just visited with him and helped my mom out at home. My mom is still struggling a bit from her surgery. She had been doing great and recently began having knee and leg pain, so has taken a few steps back. Still waaaayyy better than before surgery. It is crazy hard for her to get around, travel to see my dad (he's across town), walk to his room, do his laundry, bring stuff to him while walking with her walker, etc., etc. It is a lot for her and she is exhausted. She's also crazy lonely at home. Ugh. I hate seeing my parents suffer like this. I don't like it! I don't like it! I don't like it!
We weren't able to stay long - just one night- and will not be heading back until Thanksgiving b/c of my surgery next week. My dad will likely go home at the end of the week and I hate not being able to be there for that! Ugh! Hate it! I wish I/they lived closer.
Thanks so much for ALL your prayers. They were heard and felt!!!! Please keep praying!!!!
side note... Doug and I left Daisy at a Doggy Boarding place (with web cams!) for over 24 hours to head to Ohio... aren't you proud?? :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!!
Hi all, this is Hebrews for All Things b/c she's having problems posting. Please read the post below and then let's storm Heaven!!!
Please pray for my dad. He is having a very hard time right now. He has been transferred to a rehabilitation center and is in so much pain from his back surgery. The doctors/nurses are having trouble getting his pain under control. His feet were bleeding today, which is very dangerous for a diabetic. He is extremely fatigued and having a hard time holding a conversation. He said he was so tired he could hardly hold up the phone. He is the most positive person ever and never complains, so I know when he is saying he is in extreme pain, he means it.
He has me and my mom very worried. I'm so far away, I feel very helpless. But then again, my mom is just across town and feels the same way. So, please prayer warriors, pray for Ted Johnson. Thanks ladies!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Hunt.
We need a child. Poor Daisy. Poor, poor Daisy.
She has been the center of our (well, mine) Halloween obsession this year. I've been hunting for just the right costume for the puppy Halloween party. I have not been to a Halloween party in years. I've never been to a puppy Halloween party, so it's been fun and I like it, I admit it! We received a few Sta.r Wars outfits from a friend and we bought three others at Tar.get to take home and try. We will be returning the two that don't work. The checkout lady asked if we had three dogs! Nope, just one spoiled pup! Hahahahaha. Anyway... here is dressed-up Daisy!
I will be seeking professional help very very soon.
We first tried the Yoda look.
The force is strong with this one and she would not keep the costume on.
She couldn't pull off the Darth Va.der look. She's simply too cute and she would have nothing to do with the Va.dar mask. I don't blame her... it was pretty scary looking.
Next, was Doug's pick. He went with something super girly.
Then it was time for the rocker look. She's bad to the bone and she knows it.
Then we finally found our winner. Daisy as a Daisy. It's perfect.
Now I have NO IDEA what Doug and I will wear.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sunday quick takes
1. My endo/tube clearing surgery is scheduled for 11/9/11 - only 23 days away!!! Whoot! I cannot wait! Pregnant by Christmas, right??!! Hey, I can dream, can't I?
2. Speaking of surgeries... it's my dad's turn this week.
Please pray for him as he undergoes major back surgery this Thursday! My mom had surgery back in June and now it's time for my dad to get his back fixed. My mom and I are both very anxious about his surgery. He has so much wrong with his back and I'm confident the doctors will be able to fix it and/or relieve some of his constant pain.
I have some irrational fear with his surgery that I'm trying to overcome. His mother, my grandma, died in surgery when she was around his age. For some reason, it makes me SO worried. Plus, his recovery will be very different than my mom's. She is still having some pain and problems walking... so who will take care of her while she is trying to take care of him?? I know they are only three hours away, but when I head home a few days after the surgery, it will seem as if I'm across the entire country. I cannot do anything to help and they need it. So please pray for my mom and my anxieties, for a successful surgery and recovery for my dad and all that jazz! Please and thank you!
3. We've been working on a costume for Daisy for Halloween. Yep, we are those crazy dog people. We have a doggie costume party at our dog obedience training place -- so we HAVE TO dress her up! A friend of mine gave us some old Star War.s costumes. I don't think she will keep them on. She was pretty dang cute! Annoyed, I'm sure, but cute!
7. I'm pretty convinced we are going to be crazy parents. After mass today, Doug and I went to a Doggie Day Care/Boarding place to take a tour and interview the people. We have had Daisy in doggie day camp before and she loves it. We need to switch her to a new place for a few days this week due to some timing issues. We met the people who would be taking care of her and grilled them like we were leaving our baby. Thank goodness they have webcams and my phone has a great app that I can watch her on while she plays and is away from me. He he. I told you, we are those crazy dog people.
2. Speaking of surgeries... it's my dad's turn this week.
Please pray for him as he undergoes major back surgery this Thursday! My mom had surgery back in June and now it's time for my dad to get his back fixed. My mom and I are both very anxious about his surgery. He has so much wrong with his back and I'm confident the doctors will be able to fix it and/or relieve some of his constant pain.
I have some irrational fear with his surgery that I'm trying to overcome. His mother, my grandma, died in surgery when she was around his age. For some reason, it makes me SO worried. Plus, his recovery will be very different than my mom's. She is still having some pain and problems walking... so who will take care of her while she is trying to take care of him?? I know they are only three hours away, but when I head home a few days after the surgery, it will seem as if I'm across the entire country. I cannot do anything to help and they need it. So please pray for my mom and my anxieties, for a successful surgery and recovery for my dad and all that jazz! Please and thank you!
3. We've been working on a costume for Daisy for Halloween. Yep, we are those crazy dog people. We have a doggie costume party at our dog obedience training place -- so we HAVE TO dress her up! A friend of mine gave us some old Star War.s costumes. I don't think she will keep them on. She was pretty dang cute! Annoyed, I'm sure, but cute!
4. In an attempt to be more grown-up and have a more grown-up house, Doug and I got some new bedding! Finally, after almost 2 years of married life, we have a nice quilt on our bed and I'm loving it!
I LOVED LOVED LOVED my old bedding. I once won a $500 gift card from Pottery Barn and I went to town! It is the most comfortable down comforter and duvet cover. But, I have a very warm-blooded husband and the down comforter was way too warm for him. Dang it! It's now in the guest room. We've just had random blankets on our bed since we got married. I was beyond over it!
I come from a long-line of quilters, so I have always had an abidance of quilts around. I love them. However, when I mentioned using one of my grandmothers hand-stitched quilts, she about had a heart attack! I don't blame her... using one of those quilts day in and day out (with animals on them at times! Yikes!) would surely break the threads and the quilt would not be as beautiful. So, she bought us a quilt for our upcoming anniversary! That way, we can use it and not feel guilty! My mom will also not be dreaming about breaking quilt threads and such!
Seriously, when you come from a line of quilters, quilt guilt is almost as bad as Catholic guilt.
5. I have discovered that making changes around the house, while important and nice, does not take that 'empty' feeling that infertility can cause. It doesn't matter that we have a new quilt, new curtains and are finally going to hang up some artwork... we still don't have a baby and that feeling does not go away.
I really have to watch myself and deal with the feelings instead of trying to decorate or buy my way out of it. I have a tendency to think that changing something will make everything better. It never works.
6. We enjoyed getting Daisy blessed at the recent pet blessing at our parish. It was so fun! They had music and readings... and a chicken! Yep, among all the cats, dogs and goldfish, was a pet chicken! It was the hit of the day! We asked for some extra holy water for Daisy. Hehe.
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| The actual blessing... Daisy was getting ready to pounce on the holy water. |
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| Ahhh.. Catholic Puppy. |
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Summer Prayer Buddy!
I had the privilege of praying for my good friend Sarah over at Sarah's Journal. I was so excited when I got her name, because we had been friends since she was planning her wedding! We got married almost a year a part and I loved loved loved watching her plan and seeing all the beautiful happenings of the big day. Now, it's been great to follow her life as a newlywed. Sarah, my DH and I prayed for your intentions with our whole hearts. I hope you could feel the prayers!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Surgery!!!
I'm going to have endo surgery!!!!! WHOOOOO HOOOOO!
Yep, I am WAY TOO excited about the possibility of surgery! The things IF will do to you!
I had a great appointment this afternoon with my fertility guy, Dr. G. Doug and I met with him to discuss all my messed up female parts. Dr. G, Doug and I all agree it's time to get this baby making show on the road! Nothing has happened in the almost 2 years we've been married and now that my weight is at a good place, it is time to move forward. Hearing that was music to my ears!
We had been in a waiting pattern as far as fertility surgery, meds, etc. this year due to my surgery last December. It would have been fine if we had gotten pregnant on our own (ha!), but Dr. G really wanted to wait to do surgery for my endo until I was almost or at 1 year post-op from my gastric bypass.
I have been having so much pain lately, it is almost unbearable. I wake up in the night from pain. I have trouble getting out of bed because of the pain. It's there all the time and it's getting worse. I have a gut feeling the majority of the pain is from my right ovary being stuck to my abdominal wall. Ouch. It's in a very specific spot and Dr. G agreed that that is most likely the cause of the worst pain as well. However, to be safe, we are doing a repeat CT scan next week to make sure nothing else is causing this pain. If the scan is clear, then he will schedule surgery ASAP! Whoot!!
I'm beyond excited. I literally did a little conga line dance out of the office. I think Doug was a little embarrassed and I have no idea what the people in the waiting room were thinking. He he.
I know this might not be the fix we need to conceive, but it feels like it is a step in the right direction. I sometimes am filled with SO MUCH HOPE about conceiving and then I will remember that one tube is totally blocked, one is partially blocked, I'm not great at ovulating and I have endo all over. Then I am SO LOW. This can all occur within a matter of minutes. It's crazy. After surgery, surely some of this up and down anxiety will be lessen. He will be removing endo, unsticking (that's my technical term for it) my ovary from my abdominal wall, delicately flushing out my tubes and opening them and removing any adhesion's that I have. How could this not help?? At the very least, I'm hoping for some pain relief. And in all honesty, I really am hoping for much much more!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
This Thankful Thursday (really Wednesday) is...
Dedicated to Hebrews!!! WHOOO HOOOO!
What am I thankful this week???
A BFP for my great friend!!!! I was just smiling and smiling all day just thinking about how happy she and her DH must be!! Woozers! As down as I can feel when I hear a pregnancy announcement, hearing one from a fellow (now former) IFer is SO DIFFERENT! I AM BEYOND ELATED!!!!!!!
Someone else is pretty psyched too!! Congratulations Hebrews!!
What am I thankful this week???
A BFP for my great friend!!!! I was just smiling and smiling all day just thinking about how happy she and her DH must be!! Woozers! As down as I can feel when I hear a pregnancy announcement, hearing one from a fellow (now former) IFer is SO DIFFERENT! I AM BEYOND ELATED!!!!!!!
Someone else is pretty psyched too!! Congratulations Hebrews!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thankful Thursday!
Rebecca over at The Road Home is doing Thankful Thursdays! I love reading what she is thankful for... so I thought I'd steal the idea and give it a try. Click on the icon to see what she is thankful for!
1. I am thankful for this man. He is my everything and more than I ever dreamed of having. I'm thinking it might be time to do a separate, "Why I love my Husband" post soon!
1. I am thankful for this man. He is my everything and more than I ever dreamed of having. I'm thinking it might be time to do a separate, "Why I love my Husband" post soon!
2. I am thankful for the wonderful gift of marriage and so thankful that my parents have been such wonderful examples. They have been through it all: the Vietnam War, infertility, for richer and poorer, living in several states, starting over again and again, illness, having some rebellious kids (well one - and it's not me!), deep pain and heartache and growing old together. If they can get through all that and more... they are the bomb! Love them!
3. I am thankful for protein! LOVE IT! Bet you didn't see that one coming, huh??
4. I am thankful for my fenced in back yard. We got the fence after we had had Daisy a few month and it is wonderful! Granted, we still have to supervise her out there or she will eat rocks and sticks and mud, but it still rocks my world! I'm also thankful for these two in the fence. They are so cute!
5. I am thankful for my godson Leo, even if he does have the most distinctive baby hair ever. Hehe. Love him.
6. I am thankful for great friends. Here is am with Deacon Dominic. He's going to make an amazing priest next year! I am also thankful for all my friends who love love love Big Brother like I do. You know who you are!
7. I am thankful that I get to play hide-and-seek with this little pup. She is not that good at the game.
SO MUCH FOR ME TO BE THANKFUL FOR THIS WEEK!
Monday, September 5, 2011
See ya later!
First... Thank you for all your kind thoughts and prayers last week. It was not a great week, but I felt lifted up by all your thoughts and prayers. They are so appreciated!! I just kept reading the comments and eventually the tears stopped! Thanks ladies... you are the best!!
Second... I had ONE goal for this weekend: Clean out the bedroom closet! It was getting all messy and I could not take it a minute longer. I could not find a thing and there were piles of clean clothes all over the place ready to be put in the messy closet... but there was no room!
It was also time to say See Ya Later to my second round of fat clothes and trade them in from skinnier fall clothes! Whoot!!! Whoot!! Whoot!! Man, I had a lot of clothes, including hot pink work out pants! Not sure what I was thinking when I bought those!
Second... I had ONE goal for this weekend: Clean out the bedroom closet! It was getting all messy and I could not take it a minute longer. I could not find a thing and there were piles of clean clothes all over the place ready to be put in the messy closet... but there was no room!
It was also time to say See Ya Later to my second round of fat clothes and trade them in from skinnier fall clothes! Whoot!!! Whoot!! Whoot!! Man, I had a lot of clothes, including hot pink work out pants! Not sure what I was thinking when I bought those!
See ya later second round of clothes!! I will not miss you!
A recent progress pic.
Last summer ..............................................This summer!
Just for fun... Me and my loves.
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