It's not lost

The amazing fact that I am pregnant and so blessed to be so is not lost on me.

It is so easy to take a pregnancy for granted.  I don't know any IFer's or former IFer's that do so, but I see it all the time with the 'normal folks'.  It was one of the hardest things to ever witness as I was going through my IF journey.

Last year, I wrote this post.  I remember going to this baby shower.  It was for a dear friend of mine who is one of the nicest ones I know.  I didn't begrudge her her baby (#2) or her baby shower.  But it was hard.  I didn't want to get out of the car.  Doug had to practically peel me off of my seat.  I spent the majority of the evening listening to baby and birth stories and texting Sew.  I had a pit in my stomach the whole evening.  I remember just wanting to cry because I never thought it would be my turn to have a baby shower with this group of mom's.

But I did.  In fact, my due date is almost exactly one year to the day of my friends due date.  Crazy, huh?  So much can change in a year.

When I went to my (well, it was a baby bonfire for me and Doug!) baby shower this year, it felt strange.  It was wonderful and everyone was so happy for us.  They learned of our long journey (some had suspected) after our pregnancy It was just so strange that a year ago I didn't want to get out of the car and this year, the party was for us.  Great feeling, but strange at the same time.  My heart was heavy that night.  I kept thinking of all my friends who are still on the journey, still waiting... still attending these showers and not wanting to get out of their cars.  That pain is not lost on me.  I remember it well.

I got pregnant just three months after my endo/tube surgery.  It was our first month charting napro with a instructor.  I never thought it would happen that fast... or even happen.  But it did and I'm well aware this is not always the case.

I feel blessed that I have had a fairly 'easy' pregnancy.  I had some progesterone issues in the beginning.  I was constantly petrified that something would go wrong.  I think I held my breath the entire first trimester.  I took progesterone and baby was fine.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it didn't.  I had one slight 'scare'... which was self-induced.  I worked out too much at the gym and couldn't move.  I had horrible abdominal pain.  Hebrews had to talk me off a ledge that night.  I couldn't feel the baby move yet, so I was petrified.  I went in to see my OB the next day for a HB check and baby boy was just fine.

So the fact that this has been a great pregnancy while so many struggle is not lost on me either.  I'm so thankful for that.  I felt sick for 12 weeks, but I considered that a blessing.  It made me know things were ok.  No swollen feet.  No crazy aches and pains.  I've been able to remain fairly active.  No swollen hands or anything.  Heck, I'm still wearing my wedding rings.  This last week has been first time I've been really uncomfortable.  I think being 38/39 weeks and now just feeling crazy uncomfortable is pretty dang good.

I'm so blessed.  This fact will never be lost on me.