I'm a proud Momma.

Somebody is a Puppy School Graduate! My little puppy is growing up! 

A Positive Spin on Quick Takes!

I'm still home sick in bed.  I tried to go to work yesterday and it did not go well at all.  After a whole 3 hours, I headed home.  I was a mess.  I made it to the doctor, who started me on my second round of antibiotics.  I have a sinus infection, double ear infection and bronchitis.  What the heck!?

I'm so not a good sick person.  I whine, I complain and I lay around and look absolutely pathetic.  Poor Doug.  He's a trooper.  I would not want to deal with me at all!

I thought I'd try to do some 'positive' quick takes, since this week has been such a bummer.  Maybe it will make this crapola of a week, not so bad!

1.  Like I mentioned in my last post, I wore a dress this weekend!  I know this does not seem like a big deal... but I NEVER wear dresses!  NEVER!  I use to when I was smaller and I loved them.  This weekend, I told Doug we were headed shopping for a skirt or dress. I thought he was going to fall over! He just kind of laughed and went along with it.  After all, the only time he has ever seen me in a dress was our wedding day!

It was 98 degrees this weekend and the thought of wearing long pants to mass made me crazy!  Luckily, I found two dresses at Tar.get!  I only bought one, but I'm tempted to go get the other one.  This is my first and only clothing purchase since starting to lose weight.  I think it will last a while and I'm even going to wear it again this weekend!  I was a bit out of my comfort zone, but I felt great in it!  I slowly see my old self, my old confident self, coming back and I like it!

2.  While I hate taking sick days... I have enjoyed spending lots of quality time this week with this cute pooch!  Can you believe she is already 18 weeks old?  She is so much fun and brings so much joy to our lives!  This certain puppy graduates from puppy kindergarten this weekend.  Yes, pictures will follow!

3.  This picture is for Marie!  Daisy and Smokey are getting along pretty good.  Daisy really wants to play... Smokey not so much.  Daisy can pretty much squish Smokey with her big paw.  It's a pretty funny sight to see.  I had really hoped the two would get along and snuggle a little -- at least for a photo! Well... they were in the same space and looking so cute the other day.  I think they are going to be great friends. 

4.  My mom is now home from rehab and is still doing great!  This is such an amazing blessing and such a relief!!  It was so hard to watch her be in pain and I am so glad that she is feeling more like her self again!  Thanks for all your prayers!

5.  My training at the gym is going great.  I have an amazing trainer.  He is awesome and has me do things I never thought I could do.  He is so motivating and really gets me to work hard.  He is leaving to go to graduate school in another state in August and I already miss him!  I know some days, if I did not have a set appointment to train with him, I'd skip the gym.  He gets me there and makes me do what I know I have to do!  I have really improved and it is awesome to see the results.  

6.  This is one of my favorite pictures ever.  It always makes me smile.  It's my dad and my youngest nephew Peter.  How cute are they?!  You can see my dad is totally in love with his grandson.  That little baby is now in first grade! :)

7.  Next week I get to meet this blogger!  Yay!  We are meeting at her family FARM!  Yep, I'm going to a farm.  Beth is going to take pictures because no one would believe that I'm going to a farm with animals on my own free will.  I might even hold a baby pig!!  Yippee!  I can't wait! 

I'm just sad.

I'm home sick today.  I hate taking sick days from work... for actually being sick.  I have a sinus infection and I suspect an ear infection too.  I felt so so all weekend, but yesterday was not good.  My head just started hurting all over.  Dang sinuses!  Luckily, I was able to take some pain medicine and get some much needed sleep last night.  I woke up and was debating going to work or not when I, or rather Doug, discovered that I have no voice at all.  This really could be his dream come true!  Ha ha!  So, since I can't talk or breathe or swallow, I'm staying home with the pup today.

So today, I'm just feeling sad.  I really shouldn't be.  I am so blessed and I had a great weekend filled with so much joy!  I was able to see Deacon Dominic give his first homily.  He did an outstanding job and he just radiates God's love!  I was able to snuggle my godson during mass, which I LOVED.  Note:  I did not feel or think I was sick then! Doug and I were able to play with Daisy at the dog park and out in our newly fenced in yard.  It was so fun watching her run and play with the other dogs!  Deacon Dominic came over for a visit yesterday and it's always fun to have some company and show off our puppy!  Overall, a great great weekend!  I even wore a dress -- something I NEVER do.  The only other time I've worn a dress since I've met Doug - our wedding!  Ha!  See, great weekend!!

So, why, after such a wonderful weekend am I feeling so blue?

I want to be a mommy.  That's why.  I know that is what it is.  There is a pain in my chest and it will not go away.  I cannot stop the tears from falling.  It happens every now and then and I just need to work through it.  I need to cry.  I need to feel sad and lonely and empty.  I need to acknowledge the hole in my heart.

Then, I need to pack it up and be strong again.  I need to fake smile when someone talks about their baby and their pregnancy.  I need to act surprised and thrilled at the next pregnancy announcement.  I need to act like I'm not dying inside.  Maybe all that acting will actually make me believe I am not sad.

But for today, I'm not going to be strong.  I don't have the energy.  I'm just going to be sad.

Quick Takes!

1.  My mom is still doing great!  She is leaving her rehabilitation facility Saturday morning!  Whoot!  She is headed home and will be tended to during the day by a home health nurse.  She will also have someone come help her with meals and housework and such.  She is moving around great and still exceeding all expectations!  I am so grateful!

2. One of my bestest friends is being ordained a Deacon this weekend!!!! Big whoot!  Dominic and I met at the Frassati Conference and have been close ever since.  I always thought he'd make an amazing priest and now he is only one year away!  We have had some pretty great times and we also share the privilege of being godparents to little Leo!

Well, here is a little bit of Dominic and I.
Side note... this was taken about one hour before I met Doug for the first time!

Dominic knows my hated of penguins...
so he bought me one for Christmas!  Nice!

3. We got a fence!  I LOVE IT!!  We are right by a pond and I wanted a fence for our imaginary children someday and having Daisy just moved up those fence plans a few years.  It looks amazing and the puppy is thrilled to have a place to run.

4. Could I use more exclamation points!!??  Seriously, I'm an exclamation point addict.

5. Doug is officially done with school for the year.  I love it when he is done teaching and can be at home for a few months.  He does some summer work in June and then I'll have him all to myself in July and some of August.  Last year, I really thought I would hate him being at home while I was at work all day, but much to my surprise, I LOVED IT!  It was awesome.  Laundry was done, dishes were washed, dinner was cooked.  We weren't rushing around to get things done in the evening and could actually relax and spend some time with each other.  I love summer!!

Chef Doug last summer!

6. Can you guess how many times this week I heard the question, "When are you and Doug PLANNING on having kids?"  About 10!  Can you believe it?  Even my trainer at the gym asked me!  I don't know what it was this week, but it was crazy.  When I heard the question, I really almost laughed.  The thought of us PLANNING is funny to me, since in my plan, we'd already be on our second by now. Ha!  Each time I heard the question, I simply smiled and answered, "We are ALWAYS open to life."

7.  I am fighting a sinus thing... so I'm taking some cold meds and heading to bed!  Have a great weekend ladies! 

Bookworm

Yep, I'm obsessed, I know.  :)

Goodbye!

Goodbye big pile of ugly fat clothes!  I will never see you again!

Quick Takes!

1. Wow!  I am at awe at the power of prayer this week!  I can see its power through my mom's surgery and recovery.  It is amazing to have people from all over the country praying for her and my family.  I am so grateful!  

2. So... my mom is an overachiever!  She is exceeding ALL expectations and is being released from the hospital right now - THURSDAY NIGHT!!!  They were not expecting her to be doing so well and her release was tentatively planned for this weekend.  Nope!  She has walked the halls, gotten out of bed by herself and met all the other requirements to move on to the rehabilitation center.  GO MOM!!!

3. In January, one of my mom's dearest friends passed away.  It was very sudden and unexpected. She had been ill, but did not seem that bad.  They were both quilters and bonded through the many stitches they sewed together.  Right before she died, she asked my mom to finish a few t-shirt quilts that she had promised to people, in case something happened to her.  The next day she died.

My mom finished the quilts, even with all her pain.  My mom had not been able to sew for awhile.  It was too much for her.  Even making her little baby bibs proved too much.  Side note:  That is why I haven't beeen sending out any blogger baby bibs. She tried, but couldn't sit long enough to make them.  :(  Over the past two weeks, when her pain was at its worst, my mom finished the quilts.  I "helped" with one of them over mothers day.  I really need to learn how to quilt.  My mom has made hundreds and they are all wonderful.  Anyway... one of the quilts was for a nun!  It was made from a number of great Catholic t-shirts!  I loved all the shirts!  My favorite one said: "Destroying evil, one bead at at time" with a picture of a rosary.  

4. I'm pretty sure that when Doug and I go shopping, people think we have kids!  Ha!  We bought a baby pool last week.  Yep, for Daisy.  It was a huge hit with the pup.

5. One of our little flower girls is afraid of all dogs.  Nothing has ever happened to make her afraid, but she is.  So, her mom has asked that Daisy help her out.  Daisy is super sweet and a pup, so she thought introducing her now would be a good idea.  I'm a bit nervous, but I think Daisy will do great!  She does get pretty excited around kids.  She LOVES them!  So, to help with her energy level, I'm taking her to Doggie Day Care tomorrow!!  Haha!  She has gone once before at the same place we take her for puppy school and she was more than worn out when I picked her up!  It was hysterical!  See for yourself....

Before Puppy School.  SOOOO EXCITED!

After puppy school.  SOOOOO TIRED!

6. Hmmm... I'm trying to come up with a quick take that is not about the dog.  I know I'm a little obsessed!  But come on... look at this face.

7. I am looking forward to a beautiful weekend with little to no rain! I cannot wait to relax, spend time outside and have some fun!  Whoot!  I have been in a great mood the last two days and I hope it keeps on going!  Double Whoot!

TWO miracles!

Thanks for all those prayers ladies!  They worked - big time.  Before you get ahead of yourself, there is not going to be a BFP announcement in this post.  BUT... I think these miracles are equally surprising and wonderful!

1. MY BROTHER!!

I have been fervently praying for my brother, his wife and their three children for years.  My older brother, Jeff, is a bit estranged from our family.  I often think of him as the prodigal son that just has not returned yet.  If you ever glance at my wedding pictures (they are pretty, you really should!), you will not see my brother in any of the pictures.  He and his family weren't there.  Very sad.  There is a huge back story, but it would be long and painful to go into it all.  Basically, when he wants to be involved with our family, he is and when he doesn't, he is totally absent.  He lives across the country as well.  He is very sporadic and you NEVER know what you will get with him.  He has hurt my parents beyond belief with some of the stunts he's pulled.  The scars are deep, but they keep loving him and trying.  Forgiveness is one of their strengths.

Jeff is notorious at not calling on big events and holidays.  No calls on birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, etc.  He missed this Mother's Day as well and I didn't even give it much thought.  Typical Jeff.  I hate it that he hurt my mom by doing that, but I long ago gave up the notion that I could change his actions.  With my mother preparing for surgery, I had thought (briefly) about calling him and letting him know what was up.  I have not talked to my brother in a long time and I knew my mom would NOT want me to call him.  It never goes well.

Turns out I didn't need to call him.  He called, on his own, without any prompting or threat of a pending surgery (he was not aware of it yet), to wish my mom a happy Belated Mother's Day.  This might not seem like a big deal, but he NEVER calls.  NEVER.  Unless he needs something.  Granted, he was late, but still!  THIS WAS HUGE!!!  He was even pleasant and even told my mom he'd be praying for her.  Again, HUGE!!!

The call put my mom at ease.  She had wanted to talk to him before surgery, but often when she calls, it does not go well either.  Again, you just never know what you are going to get with Jeff.  So, she just had not called him yet.  She was able to talk to the grand kids (again, can be a rarity) and that makes her day so bright.  It was the perfect, pre-surgery medicine she desperately needed!!!

I consider this a small miracle.  If anyone wants someone to pray for, my brother would be a good pick!!!!  St. Rita, pray for him!

2. MY MOM!!

My mom made it through her 4+ hour surgery with flying colors!!  She was in excruciating pain the night before her surgery.  She could not move her leg.  It was literally dragging behind her when she tried to walk.  It was horrible!  She was crying out in pain several times throughout the night and was unable to move, get in and out of bed, etc.  It was not good.  She was also incredibly anxious about how things would go, if my dad would have food to eat, if he'd burn the house down while she was away, etc. etc.  But with the all the pain she had that last night, she knew that she could not put this off.

It was a LONG surgery day.  It's amazing how sitting and doing nothing but waiting is SO exhausting!  My dad and I kept busy, but it seemed we were in the waiting room forever.  We were able to finally see her in the evening last night and get this... she moved her legs without yelling out in pain... something she hasn't done in months!!!  The doctor said her pain should lessen and she should keep the use of her legs!  Whoot!!!

My emotional dad kept it together most of the day.  He has been the overly positive one about the surgery.  So, after months of seeing his wife in great pain he finally had his breakdown moment.  When my mom shifted in bed and raised her leg up without making a peep and really without even knowing she was doing it... he started to cry.  He just whispered to me, "Look, she's moving her leg! That is so wonderful!"  It was sweet.  Ahhh... high school sweethearts.  :)

I spend the majority of today with her.  I was there when physical therapy came for the first time.  They got her out of bed and standing up.  She was able to take two short walks in the hallway.  It was AMAZING.  Monday, she could not move her right leg and today she was walking, standing tall, not limping and NOT IN PAIN!!!!  Can you believe it!!??  Granted, she has incision pain from the surgery, but not the devestating pain that has been crippling her for months.  Miracle?  I think so!!!  I think that deserves a big WHOOT!

My mom will be in the hospital until the weekend then will be off to a rehab facility. I pray she continues to improve!!  Please keep her and my dad in your prayers... they have a long road ahead.

Thanks again for all those prayers... and the amazing comments from my last post.  You ladies ROCK!

Progress pic and prayer request!

Hey!  It has been forever since I posted.  I have been crazy busy (that puppy is work!) and have a million posts in my head, but none of them make it to the computer.

I have a huge prayer request for you ladies.  My mom is having extensive back surgery this Tuesday and she needs you all to storm heaven with prayers!  Last August, my mom thought she had pulled a muscle in her back.  Never having back pain in her life before then, she thought it would resolve quickly.  It did not.  It got worse.  She went to several specialist who said her back had too many problems to count, including a tumor wrapped around a portion of her spine.  They could not believe she had not had any pain until that point.

Her pain and discomfort has progressed at a rapid rate, especially within the last few months.  She started losing feeling in her arms/hand and some function in her legs.  It has been horrible to watch.  After several repeat MRI's and meetings with several doctors, it was determined that the majority of her nerves were being affected and if she did not have surgery, she would lose total function of her legs and possibly her arms.  So, as a last result, surgery was scheduled.  It will take hours and they will try to repair her spine and remove some of the seemingly benign tumor.

Needless to say, I am worried sick.  I have been praying to St. Rita constantly for her and will be relieved when the surgery is over.  Then starts the grueling recovery.  Ouch.  I am heading out of state Monday to be there with her and my dad for a few days.  Please keep all of us in your prayers.  Thanks!

Now... to a more pleasant subject.  As promised (a long time ago), I finally took some progress pictures.  I am still doing great, feeling great and am thrilled at the progress.  I don't really notice it on a daily basis, but when I looked at the pictures, I was floored.  Whoot!  It is definitely something to celebrate!  It made that BFN sting a little less this weekend too!  So.... here you go!

... and since I cannot do a post without a picture of the cutest little puppy ever, she joined my for my little photo shoot!  She is pure love ladies.  I love her to pieces! 

Daisy, find Hannah!

Daisy loves baby Hannah!  Every time I play this video of Sew and Hannah, Daisy goes crazy.  The poor pup has yet to find little Hannah, but she keeps looking!  Soooo cute!!

This will have to do...

You've requested pictures.  Well... I really haven't taken any 'official' pictures in a LONG time.  So.... these will have to do!  I took them the other day before heading out to dinner with the family.  I was in jeans I hadn't worn in a long time.  I had not even thought to try them on yet -- I thought they would be way too small!  Nope - they were just right - even a little loose!  Never mind the cheesy smile in the photos or the spider man blanket and star wars sheets in the background!!  Hahahaha!  All photos courtesy of my beloved iPhone.  :)

Happy Easter and Prayer Buddy Reveal!

He is Risen!!! 

I am SO glad that Lent has ended and Easter has finally arrived!!  It might be a gloomy, rainy, cold Indiana day, but it is glorious!!  Doug and I went to the 6:30am Mass (we are early risers) and it was so nice to see everyone up and smiling!  There was a wonderful feeling in the air and I loved every minute of it!   We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song!

As for Lent, I've had better.  For some reason, it was very 'hard' to get into Lent this year.  I usually LOVE Lent.  I love the challenge of it and the commitment to prayer that I usually have.  I just did not have that focus this year.  It was hard to follow my Lenten promises.  I felt called to do other things and my prayer was focused in other areas.  So, today, I am relieved that Lent has ended and the Easter season has arrived!  Whoo hooo!

One Lenten commitment that I did keep was praying for my prayer buddy! I had the pleasure of praying for J, from Life from Inside the Wheelbarrow.  I've been a long time reader, so it was a nice opportunity to deepen my prayer life by praying for J and her family!  Happy Easter J!  I hope you could feel my prayers!

And... for some added Easter cuteness.... Happy Easter from our little bunny!

What the heck??!!!!

Seriously, what in the world is this world coming to??  Have any of you seen this?  PETA is hosting a contest for a FREE VASECTOMY!  Get your dog or cat neutered and you can enter the contest to get fixed just like your pooch! What??

"Every year in the U.S., an estimated 6 to 8 million lost, abandoned, or unwanted dogs and cats enter animal shelters. The best way to combat the companion-animal overpopulation crisis is to have your cat or dog neutered. And with a global population of almost 7 billion humans, more of our species could use a (voluntary) snip too.

Now, one lucky man can be reproduction-free, free of charge, just like his pooch or feline friend. PETA will give one free vasectomy to a man who has recently had his companion cat or dog neutered. Don't worry boys—you'll still be able to enjoy sex. But your neutered dog will be less likely to face the health and behavioral problems that un-neutered dogs experience." - Per PETA

WTH??!!! It makes me want to vomit!  Who the heck even thought of this idea!!??  I'm all about controlling the pet population... but the human population at the same time via a contest - ummm, NO!  The contest also just happens to fall at the same time as National Infertility Awareness Week!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  Dang you PETA!

100 Days

It's been just over 100 days since my surgery!  Can you believe it?!  The time has flown by so quickly and for that, I am grateful!  I'm down over 60 pounds and feel great.

A good friend asked me if it has been easier or harder than I imagined.  To be honest, I think it has been much easier than what I had envisioned it would be like pre-surgery.  I have never once regretted having the surgery.  It has been a fantastic tool for me.  I still have to do the work and I always will, but it has made doing what I need to do, well, doable.

Why?  Here is goes.

Things that are easier:

1. Sickness.  I swore I would get sick and throw up and not feel good.  I was so not looking forward to that aspect of the surgery.  I thought I'd take a bite and be running to the bathroom.  This happens to people.  But for me... NOT.AT.ALL.  I have felt great.  There has not been one tiny ounce of nausea.  No sickness.  Nothing.  I got VERY lucky with this one.

2. Eating.  I swore there would be things I could not eat anymore.  I'm sure there are - sugars and such.  But everything that is on my plan, has been fine.  I'd heard so many stories of people not being able to eat chicken or lean beef or drink milk, etc.  Nope, not me.  I've been able to stomach (haha) everything.  I did have a bite of pot roast once and I thought that might not be the best thing for me, but I never liked that anyway, so that could be it.  Other than that, everything has gone down just fine  - including all restaurant food, which is great!!

3. Being around yummy food I can't eat.  I swore this would be soooo hard too.  It was always my downfall in other diets and such.  But this time around, it hasn't been an issue.  I had really tried to mentally prepare myself for this aspect of surgery.  It's one thing when you can sneak a bite and get over a temptation, but I can't do that.  I do not eat at anytime other than my small meals.  I use to graze and eat when I'd like or when I got hungry.  I cannot do that anymore and this is a huge change.

One of my WLS friends asked me how I deal with being around food that I cannot have right now or not eating between meals.  I told her honestly, that it is easier now, than it has ever been in my life.  WHY?  Because I simple DO NOT have the option of eating certain items.  Could I?  Maybe, probably. But is it on my meal plan?  NO.  Do I want to risk eating something before my stomach is ready?  Nope!  It's just not worth it.  If I'm tempted, I say a little prayer, offer it up and walk away.  Now, I do think that this will be harder come next year.  Very hard.  It will be something that I will have to be very vigilant about.

4. Eating my small amounts while others are eating away.  I was unsure how I'd feel about eating around others.  I have my tiny 1 and 2 ounce containers and they have a regular meal.  I was afraid I'd feel awkward.  I might have been a little awkward at first, but now it does not bother me a bit.  It also does not even phase me if I just sit and drink my water while people eat a meal.  My lunch friends and I will go out to eat at times.  I tag along to be social.  I usually bring a protein bar or my water and just talk while they eat.  They have been so supportive and it does not bother me at all.  They all had delicious looking food the other day and I drank my water.  I think it bothers them more than me.  There have been times that I've ate while we were out as well.  I just tend to eat mid-morning and late afternoon, so a normal "lunch" time does not fit in with my eating schedule.  Since the rest of the world does not revolve around me and my eating schedule (it's shocking, I know!), then I just adapt and roll with it!

5.  I'm sure there are other things... but you get the idea.  :)

Things that are harder:

1. Eating.  Sometimes I just do not want to.  I still have no hunger.  I do not skip meals, but sometimes, I'm just not interested.

2. Cooking.  Goes right along with # 1.  Sometimes I'd rather just eat some cheese than cook a tiny tiny meal.  Luckily, Doug and I are able to share meals and can now eat a lot of the same things.  It makes it all easier! We ALWAYS have leftovers!

3. Keeping my pants up!  Hahahaha!  But seriously, this is GREAT!!!  One week jeans will fit great.  I'll put them on the next week and they will be falling off by the end of the day.  I dry all my jeans on high now - I never did that before.  It's almost like I skipped this size when I was gaining weight.  I have a ton of clothes just a size or so lower and a ton in larger sizes.  So, I just have to get creative.  This is a good thing!!!

4. Ummm... I've got nothing else!

EASIER wins!  This is NOT the case for everyone, but I have been a case of 'best case scenario' for everything.  No complications, no nothing.   I have adjusted to everything with ease.  It's not always easy and it's not always perfect, but for the most part all is good and I am blessed!

I love wearing green!

I LOVE holidays where the entire country dresses in the same color. Four out of five Americans are wearing green today and for some reason, I love it! They might not realize they are celebrating a saint, but still!

Here is a picture of me wearing green last year. It was around April and when I was feeling my heaviest. It was also right after the tragic hair cut.


That green shirt was way too big for me this year. My hair is doing a heck of a lot better too! Here is a picture from this morning. :)


Much much better all around in 2011!! Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Puppy Play Date!

Doug and I went to bed tonight at 6:30PM!!!  I think we were both asleep by 7PM.  We were both so sleepy.  Dang daylight savings times.  Our internal clocks are messed up.  We have NEVER gone to bed that early.  So, at 10PM, I woke up and felt like I'd been sleeping all night.  Not so much! Doug is still sound asleep.  I normally wake up around 2AM for about an hour... so I'm hoping that this little sleep break is just that and I'll drift back to sleep shortly.  So, what's a girl to do when she wakes up in the middle of the night?  Blog about her new puppy of course!

She's cute and she knows it. :)

We finally got to snuggle and play with Daisy!  It was so fun to finally meet her and see her cute little self in person.  We had a great time and now are so anxious to bring her home in two weeks.  :)  Here are some pics!  Oh... and consider these my three month WLS progress pics for now.  I haven't taken any official ones lately!

Love at first sight!

Seriously adorable!

Ahhhh... puppy love.

Happy family.

After some playing... the puppies were exhausted!

Proud parents - Buster and Princess.

P.S.  Doug's been having some stomach pain and had some tests run today.  If you could spare some prayers for him... It would be much appreciated! :)

Puppies and Infertility

As you all know, I am counting down the days until we bring Daisy, our little ball of cuteness home.  We just have three weeks until we have a bouncy cuddly puppy in our house.  I cannot really describe how excited I am to have this addition to our family.  Seriously, I'm bouncing up and down and I don't do a lot of bouncing in my life.  But why? Why am I so excited?  Why do I feel that I NEED this puppy?  Why do I feel that if we weren't getting this puppy and I didn't have this to look forward to, I would be an infertile emotional wreck?

I've always loved dogs.  I had two of them growing up and I loved them to pieces.  We got our first when I was in pre-school, so I don't even remember life without a four-legged friend.  When I was in 7th grade, from one state to another due to my dad's job and my mom and I were terribly homesick.  It was a very tumultuous time for my family - there was a lot going on.  One night, my brother and I, without my parents knowledge, went and got a puppy from a local farm to add to our pack.  I don't know how he convinced me to do this without telling my mom and dad, but he did.  I took one look at the pup that would be our beloved Dee Dee and my rule-following self, flew out the window!  We took her home, put a big red bow on her and 'gave' her to our dad for his birthday. What were we thinking??!! As mad as my parents were that we just went and got a puppy, they quickly fell in love with Dee Dee.  When I was homesick, Dee Dee was there to bring some much needed joy to my life.  When my mom was home alone while my brother and I were at school and my dad was at work, it was Dee Dee (and our older dog B.J., too) who comforted my mom from her deep feelings of homesickness too.  Dee Dee was our little Indiana 'savior' if you will.  He was the one thing that made moving in the middle of 7th grade (bad, bad time to move) bearable.  Dee Dee provided much needed healing for my family at that time.  I now associate that healing and joyous feeling with having a dog.

That brings us to our to-be pup, Daisy.  While Doug and I had talked about getting a dog for some time now, we really hadn't planned to get a dog for a few more years.  In our perfect pre-marriage world, we thought we'd have some kids, get a dog and live happily ever after.  Then infertility struck.  I think I do semi-ok with it most days, some are obviously better than some.  The past several months have been hard.  Real hard.  It is constantly there.  There are constant reminders that we cannot conceive.  It feels like a huge weight that is constantly sitting on my heart.  On the good days, it just feels heavy.  On the bad days, it feels like a mountain that I cannot move.

I am well aware that Daisy is not a baby.  She's a dog.  A pretty stinkin' cute dog, but a dog, nonetheless. She will not fill the void I feel because we do not have children.  But I would be lying to myself and everyone else, if I did not recognize that we are upping our timeline for a dog because of our current state of infertility.  It's so obvious.  I know it and am well aware of it.  But honestly, I don't care.  Daisy has already brought us so much joy, I don't care what the psychological reasons are behind bringing her into our lives.  She has relieved some of the constant IF weight on my chest.  She has given me something joyous to look forward to.  She has given me much needed focus on what is good in my life -- what blessings I/we do have.  She doesn't make me forget that we don't have a baby to love.  But with her, I get to use my mothering side and that, somehow, gives me a little hope for the future.  If our puppy parenthood skills are any indication of how we will be at parents... then we will definitely rock.  We've already gotten Daisy enrolled in puppy school and have her first several vet appointments set up.  With each little puppy toy we buy, I feel elated.  We are getting her 'room' set up, buying baby gates (ha!) and are setting up puppy play dates.  With her in our lives, it seems as if some of the sadness that has encapsulated our home lately, is slowing pealing away.  Daisy makes me unbelievably happy.  Right now, I will gladly take that!!

We have a play date with Daisy next weekend.  Get ready for picture overload! In the meantime... here she is.  She is getting so big!!!  I'm so in love!

Daisy at one month old!

The Scoop on Smokey

So... For those that are wondering... Smokey is fine.  NO KIDNEY FAILURE!!  NONE!!  Oh, how I'd like to punch (in the most Christian way possible) vet #1 for telling us he was on deaths door.  Vet #3 did blood work and said there was NO SIGN of any kidney failure, kidney problems, etc.  He said Smokey might have had a little cold or been sick, so the meds that Vet #1 gave him probably helped with that.  The cat has really perked up this week and seems back to his old lazy self.  But seriously... how does a vet just make up kidney failure?????  Bad bad vet.

In other news... Look at this cutie!  I know, I have a illness called puppy fever.  I think it's an official diagnosis and I do not think there is a cure!  I really have to find something to blog about other than animals!

Mid-Week Quick Takes

1. It has been a week full of ups and downs.  The first down... I took Smokey to the vet on Monday.  I was motivated by my puppy love.  I wanted to get Smokey his annual check-up and shots to get him all ready for Daisy's arrival.  I was surprised that the vet was a new doctor at the same clinic we had been to before.  I expected to see our regular vet, who is a cat specialist.  Nope.  The new vet told me that Smokey's kidneys weren't functioning very well - only working 20%.  He prepared me to tell Doug that we'd either have to prepare to put him down or kitty dialysis (how do they even do that??!!).  This was not good.  It was just suppose to be a standard visit, for the annual check-up and shots!!  Heck, I was by myself at a Cat Clinic! I wanted it to be uneventful and leave with a healthy Smokey.  :(

I even like to snuggle with Smokey in the morning.
Doug obviously took this to capture the rare moment.  

2.  Obviously Doug was devastated by the news.  That was the down of the week.  He decided to call his old vet, who has known Smokey for years, but is now too far away for us to take Smokey for an exam.  We thought that this was the vet that would be seeing Smokey at the first clinic, but she had moved to another location.  She looked at all Smokey's information and said that his health problems did not appear as serious as the first vet told me.  No kitty dialysis and such.  So... which is it??  Is Smokey ok... or not???  Well... we are heading to vet #3 this weekend for the tie breaker.  Meanwhile, we are cautiously optimistic.  And while I am not a cat fan, I'm a huge Doug fan.  I don't want his heart to be broken with the loss of his cat prematurely and I don't want Smokey to be sick.  I just want to know how he is doing.

3. Onto the good of the week!!  I GOT A BIG PROMOTION AT WORK!!!!!!! Finally!  I had been working towards this promotion for almost a year now.  It has been a long time coming and I am beyond excited.  I am moving to a new location in the building and will have an awesome supervisor!  And... I will be out of cubical world and have a window!!!!!!!  WHOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!

4. We are having a dance party on Saturday!  Yep, a DANCE PARTY!!  He he.  We are not great dancers, but there will lots of it happening at our house.  I got Doug (really me) Just Dance 2 for his birthday.  It is so much fun and such a great work out.  We look like fools when we do it, but I don't even care.  My work gang loves the game too.  That makes for a perfect combination for a dance party/competition.  I think it will be a blast.  We will also finally be able to break out some of the party platters we got for the wedding.  :)

5. With all the uncertainty going on with Smokey this week, one thing that made Doug and I both smile, was our little puppy-to-be Daisy! We received lots of photos and videos of the little pup this week!  I cannot tell you how head over heals I already am for this little ball of cuteness.  She is now three weeks and is growing so much!  The videos were so fun to watch.  All the pups are running around and beginning their puppy play.  Ready for some cute pictures???  Here they are!  Look how big all the puppies are getting compared to the last pictures!!!  Be prepared for lots of puppy pics... I cannot get enough of them!

I mean seriously... it should be against the law to be this cute!

6. Getting ready for Daisy's arrival (one month from now) has been a good experience.  We are reading puppy, golden retriever and the dog whisperer's books like there is no tomorrow.  We are trying to be as prepared as possible for her to come home.  We are well aware that it won't be all rainbows and joy and want to be ready for the puppy pains as well as the good times.  We did go puppy shopping this past weekend.  I'm pretty sure we had the same look on our faces while we browsed the items at the local pet store as expectant parents have when they enter babies-r-us.  We looked overwhelmed and had so much in our cart it was comical.  We left with a full cart and we still have more stuff to get!  Ahhh!  But it's so fun!

We spent a long time in the toy section. 

Spoiled puppy.

7. On a totally different note... we are finally done with the ice in our area!  Did I really just say that!?  I hope we don't get an ice storm tomorrow because I spoke too soon.  We were ice bound for a week and then we had a little break of 'warm' weather.  Now, it's cold again... but no ice!  I'll take it! Come on spring!!

One of the many huge chunks of ice.

8.  Ok... just one more thing.  My godson Leo was baptized!!  I know Beth already posted about it... but it was so great!!! I am so honored I get to pray for this little sweetheart every single day as his godmother.  So thrilled!  He's the cutest little thing ever!

9.  I lied... one more... It is so obvious we don't have kids.  Almost the entire post is about our pets!  Hahahahahaa!

A Valentine to Remember

Today the sweetest man...

Gave me the sweetest little Golden gift...

I've been begging for a dog for about a year now.  I had been relentless.  My DH loves all animals and he wanted to make sure we were ready to be puppy parents.  It was the right time and the perfect Valentine's gift!  We will pick up our newest family member at the end of March!  She is almost two weeks old right now and I am totally in love.  Daisy, as we are calling her, is still with her mommy.  We have a puppy play date in a few weeks and I cannot wait!! I am totally smittin'... with my wonderful DH and my new puppy!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!