Happy Halloween from my little super hero!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
Prayers Needed Please
Where's The Milk???
I hate that this is my first post-baby post... but it is. I am in need of your prayers ladies.
George and I are having some major nursing issues. It's breaking my little heart that the little man is having so much trouble eating.
Turns out my nipples are funky - so we are using a nipple shield. I had no clue - they looked normal to me! His tongue is also an issue. So together with my funky nipples (aren't you glad you know my nipples are funky!?) and his tongue, there are a lot of latch issues. A LOT!
I'm also having a lot of supply issues. I knew there was a risk of this... with my history of PCOS and thyroid problems. So I prepared a head of time. Talked to LC, my doctors, my expert nursing friends, etc. I was hopeful that this wouldn't be an issue... but it appears it is.
I'm doing as much as possible to boost my supply. I'm pumping. I'm taking supplements and prescription meds. I'm eating oatmeal. You name it, I'm doing it. It's not helping all that much.
The lactation consultants have been really wonderful. I think I have the lactation department on speed dial. I've been to support groups this week and had an outpatient appointment so they could watch George eat. He did fine there. Notsomuch at home.
Now we have the added bonus of blisters and bleeding nipples.
Yowzers.
I have been fighting myself the last few days. Fighting the feeling that I'm already failing as a mother because I *may* not be able to nurse my child long term because of my stupid fertility issues. The failure word just kept looming over me. Pair that with the stress of nursing with all these issues, no sleep and my whacked out hormones... wow. Not fun.
This morning I was texting Sew and I realized something else. So much of me wanting to nurse is about ME. I mean, the main reason I want to nurse is because it is best for George. But then there are all these other reasons that really have NOTHING to do with George -- but everything to do with me.
I want to be a BFing mom.
I want to be part of the BF club, so to speak. At work, all the mom's that nurse gather, talk about it, support each other -- even have access to their own 'lactation support' room. I have so wanted to be part of the mom club for so long... and especially have a key to that room. Sounds silly when I say it, but it's true. I don't want people to judge if I have to give my baby formula or another supplement. I'm afraid they will.
I want the convenience of BFing. We will have a hard time with the cost of a supplement.
I don't want to feel like a failure.
Ugh.
See... so much is about ME?? I need prayers to let my pride shrink. I need to die to myself here and just do whatever is best for my baby -- which ultimately is just feeding him.
So, please pray along with me. There are so many emotions happening here lately. I feel like a crazy mom!
One that that did make me feel better - this amazing LC at the hospital. She was emailing me last night as I was trying to nurse and crying at the same time.
She had this to say:
It makes me cry and feel that everything will be ok every time I read it. What an amazing woman. Thank you for the prayers ladies.
I hate that this is my first post-baby post... but it is. I am in need of your prayers ladies.
George and I are having some major nursing issues. It's breaking my little heart that the little man is having so much trouble eating.
Turns out my nipples are funky - so we are using a nipple shield. I had no clue - they looked normal to me! His tongue is also an issue. So together with my funky nipples (aren't you glad you know my nipples are funky!?) and his tongue, there are a lot of latch issues. A LOT!
I'm also having a lot of supply issues. I knew there was a risk of this... with my history of PCOS and thyroid problems. So I prepared a head of time. Talked to LC, my doctors, my expert nursing friends, etc. I was hopeful that this wouldn't be an issue... but it appears it is.
I'm doing as much as possible to boost my supply. I'm pumping. I'm taking supplements and prescription meds. I'm eating oatmeal. You name it, I'm doing it. It's not helping all that much.
The lactation consultants have been really wonderful. I think I have the lactation department on speed dial. I've been to support groups this week and had an outpatient appointment so they could watch George eat. He did fine there. Notsomuch at home.
Now we have the added bonus of blisters and bleeding nipples.
Yowzers.
I have been fighting myself the last few days. Fighting the feeling that I'm already failing as a mother because I *may* not be able to nurse my child long term because of my stupid fertility issues. The failure word just kept looming over me. Pair that with the stress of nursing with all these issues, no sleep and my whacked out hormones... wow. Not fun.
This morning I was texting Sew and I realized something else. So much of me wanting to nurse is about ME. I mean, the main reason I want to nurse is because it is best for George. But then there are all these other reasons that really have NOTHING to do with George -- but everything to do with me.
I want to be a BFing mom.
I want to be part of the BF club, so to speak. At work, all the mom's that nurse gather, talk about it, support each other -- even have access to their own 'lactation support' room. I have so wanted to be part of the mom club for so long... and especially have a key to that room. Sounds silly when I say it, but it's true. I don't want people to judge if I have to give my baby formula or another supplement. I'm afraid they will.
I want the convenience of BFing. We will have a hard time with the cost of a supplement.
I don't want to feel like a failure.
Ugh.
See... so much is about ME?? I need prayers to let my pride shrink. I need to die to myself here and just do whatever is best for my baby -- which ultimately is just feeding him.
So, please pray along with me. There are so many emotions happening here lately. I feel like a crazy mom!
One that that did make me feel better - this amazing LC at the hospital. She was emailing me last night as I was trying to nurse and crying at the same time.
She had this to say:
God rejoices that you want the best for your baby.
God wants the best for you and that includes rest and peace. ENJOY GEORGE and rest in God's love tonight,
knowing He has you and your family in the palm of his hand.
It makes me cry and feel that everything will be ok every time I read it. What an amazing woman. Thank you for the prayers ladies.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Hello Blogger Aunties
Hi. I'm baby George. I'm crazy cute, don't you think? My mommy will blog more when she's a bit more settled! Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes!
Pier Giorgio Frassati, Pray for Us!
Pier Giorgio Frassati, Pray for Us!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
He's here!
Hi everyone, it's Hebrews reporting for Jenny! I'm thrilled to introduce you to George Theodore!
He was born at 3:25 this afternoon, weighing 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 in long. Mama and Baby George are doing well! Congrats Jenny and Doug!! Haha I couldn't decide which pics so I posted them all! He is a keeper! God is so good!
He was born at 3:25 this afternoon, weighing 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 in long. Mama and Baby George are doing well! Congrats Jenny and Doug!! Haha I couldn't decide which pics so I posted them all! He is a keeper! God is so good!
Hospital bound!
Hi everyone, Hebrews here again. Jenny is headed to the hospital to start low dose pitocin since she is not having contractions yet. Let's all get ready to meet her little boy! Keep checking back for updates!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Labor Update!
Hey ladies... here's the update!
I'm still at home! Water broke this morning while out to breakfast with my friend! She had taken me out because I'd had a rocky morning, with my car going all bonkers on my way to my OB appointment. When I got up from the table at breakfast, I noticed I was a bit... ummm... wet!
Back to my OB we went! It was in fact my waters breaking! Whoot! She said I could go home and see if things got started! Doug headed home and so did I! This was Doug's predicted "Baby is coming" date, so he had almost stayed home from work!
We took a nap, had some food, picked up the fixed car and have been walking. I'm having some contractions off and on, but nothing regular yet. If they do not pick up, then we will head into the hospital tomorrow morning to get this party started!
This is all good! I can do this!!
Good timing that it's been slow going, because our doula is at another birth right now! AHHHH! My parents just arrived, so that is great! We dropped Daisy off at Day Care... she did not even look back. Sniff sniff. :( Hahaha!
I (or Hebrews!) will update at things move on! Thanks so much for the prayers... and we will be praying for you all too!
And we are keeping this off Facebook for right now!! Thanks!
I'm still at home! Water broke this morning while out to breakfast with my friend! She had taken me out because I'd had a rocky morning, with my car going all bonkers on my way to my OB appointment. When I got up from the table at breakfast, I noticed I was a bit... ummm... wet!
Back to my OB we went! It was in fact my waters breaking! Whoot! She said I could go home and see if things got started! Doug headed home and so did I! This was Doug's predicted "Baby is coming" date, so he had almost stayed home from work!
We took a nap, had some food, picked up the fixed car and have been walking. I'm having some contractions off and on, but nothing regular yet. If they do not pick up, then we will head into the hospital tomorrow morning to get this party started!
This is all good! I can do this!!
Good timing that it's been slow going, because our doula is at another birth right now! AHHHH! My parents just arrived, so that is great! We dropped Daisy off at Day Care... she did not even look back. Sniff sniff. :( Hahaha!
I (or Hebrews!) will update at things move on! Thanks so much for the prayers... and we will be praying for you all too!
And we are keeping this off Facebook for right now!! Thanks!
Baby is on the way!
Hi bloggers! This is Hebrews, and if I'm on Jenny's blog it can only mean one thing...Baby Boy is making his arrival!!!
J texted me awhile ago to say her water broke! A friend took her to the doctor because her car is in the shop. She is 2 cm and 70% effaced. She's heading home to get her bag and her hubby, and then off to the hospital! She is not having contractions yet that she knows of. I will blog any updates as soon as I get them.
Let's all pray for a healthy labor and birth and a healthy baby boy! St. Gerard, pray for Jenny!
J texted me awhile ago to say her water broke! A friend took her to the doctor because her car is in the shop. She is 2 cm and 70% effaced. She's heading home to get her bag and her hubby, and then off to the hospital! She is not having contractions yet that she knows of. I will blog any updates as soon as I get them.
Let's all pray for a healthy labor and birth and a healthy baby boy! St. Gerard, pray for Jenny!
Monday, October 8, 2012
It's not lost
The amazing fact that I am pregnant and so blessed to be so is not lost on me.
It is so easy to take a pregnancy for granted. I don't know any IFer's or former IFer's that do so, but I see it all the time with the 'normal folks'. It was one of the hardest things to ever witness as I was going through my IF journey.
Last year, I wrote this post. I remember going to this baby shower. It was for a dear friend of mine who is one of the nicest ones I know. I didn't begrudge her her baby (#2) or her baby shower. But it was hard. I didn't want to get out of the car. Doug had to practically peel me off of my seat. I spent the majority of the evening listening to baby and birth stories and texting Sew. I had a pit in my stomach the whole evening. I remember just wanting to cry because I never thought it would be my turn to have a baby shower with this group of mom's.
But I did. In fact, my due date is almost exactly one year to the day of my friends due date. Crazy, huh? So much can change in a year.
When I went to my (well, it was a baby bonfire for me and Doug!) baby shower this year, it felt strange. It was wonderful and everyone was so happy for us. They learned of our long journey (some had suspected) after our pregnancy It was just so strange that a year ago I didn't want to get out of the car and this year, the party was for us. Great feeling, but strange at the same time. My heart was heavy that night. I kept thinking of all my friends who are still on the journey, still waiting... still attending these showers and not wanting to get out of their cars. That pain is not lost on me. I remember it well.
I got pregnant just three months after my endo/tube surgery. It was our first month charting napro with a instructor. I never thought it would happen that fast... or even happen. But it did and I'm well aware this is not always the case.
I feel blessed that I have had a fairly 'easy' pregnancy. I had some progesterone issues in the beginning. I was constantly petrified that something would go wrong. I think I held my breath the entire first trimester. I took progesterone and baby was fine.
I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it didn't. I had one slight 'scare'... which was self-induced. I worked out too much at the gym and couldn't move. I had horrible abdominal pain. Hebrews had to talk me off a ledge that night. I couldn't feel the baby move yet, so I was petrified. I went in to see my OB the next day for a HB check and baby boy was just fine.
So the fact that this has been a great pregnancy while so many struggle is not lost on me either. I'm so thankful for that. I felt sick for 12 weeks, but I considered that a blessing. It made me know things were ok. No swollen feet. No crazy aches and pains. I've been able to remain fairly active. No swollen hands or anything. Heck, I'm still wearing my wedding rings. This last week has been first time I've been really uncomfortable. I think being 38/39 weeks and now just feeling crazy uncomfortable is pretty dang good.
I'm so blessed. This fact will never be lost on me.
It is so easy to take a pregnancy for granted. I don't know any IFer's or former IFer's that do so, but I see it all the time with the 'normal folks'. It was one of the hardest things to ever witness as I was going through my IF journey.
Last year, I wrote this post. I remember going to this baby shower. It was for a dear friend of mine who is one of the nicest ones I know. I didn't begrudge her her baby (#2) or her baby shower. But it was hard. I didn't want to get out of the car. Doug had to practically peel me off of my seat. I spent the majority of the evening listening to baby and birth stories and texting Sew. I had a pit in my stomach the whole evening. I remember just wanting to cry because I never thought it would be my turn to have a baby shower with this group of mom's.
But I did. In fact, my due date is almost exactly one year to the day of my friends due date. Crazy, huh? So much can change in a year.
When I went to my (well, it was a baby bonfire for me and Doug!) baby shower this year, it felt strange. It was wonderful and everyone was so happy for us. They learned of our long journey (some had suspected) after our pregnancy It was just so strange that a year ago I didn't want to get out of the car and this year, the party was for us. Great feeling, but strange at the same time. My heart was heavy that night. I kept thinking of all my friends who are still on the journey, still waiting... still attending these showers and not wanting to get out of their cars. That pain is not lost on me. I remember it well.
I got pregnant just three months after my endo/tube surgery. It was our first month charting napro with a instructor. I never thought it would happen that fast... or even happen. But it did and I'm well aware this is not always the case.
I feel blessed that I have had a fairly 'easy' pregnancy. I had some progesterone issues in the beginning. I was constantly petrified that something would go wrong. I think I held my breath the entire first trimester. I took progesterone and baby was fine.
I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and it didn't. I had one slight 'scare'... which was self-induced. I worked out too much at the gym and couldn't move. I had horrible abdominal pain. Hebrews had to talk me off a ledge that night. I couldn't feel the baby move yet, so I was petrified. I went in to see my OB the next day for a HB check and baby boy was just fine.
So the fact that this has been a great pregnancy while so many struggle is not lost on me either. I'm so thankful for that. I felt sick for 12 weeks, but I considered that a blessing. It made me know things were ok. No swollen feet. No crazy aches and pains. I've been able to remain fairly active. No swollen hands or anything. Heck, I'm still wearing my wedding rings. This last week has been first time I've been really uncomfortable. I think being 38/39 weeks and now just feeling crazy uncomfortable is pretty dang good.
I'm so blessed. This fact will never be lost on me.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Just had to share...
I have a good IRL friend who is dealing with infertility issues. She is Catholic, though not really practicing all the time. We had been emailing recently and she was telling me how she was going down the AI, IUI and eventually IVF route to conceive. I understand where she is coming from with her desire for children... but the thought of all those little frozen IVF babies got me. I emailed her all about Napro and Creighton charting, how Doug and I went with church beliefs to conceive, etc. I was a long shot, but I went out on the ledge and did it anyway. It made me really nervous for some reason. I hadn't heard much from her for a while.
Today I got an email from her...
SHE'S SEEING A NAPRO DOCTOR AND CHARTING CREIGHTON!!!!!!!! WHOOO HOOOO! SHE'S NOT GOING TO DO IVF!!!!
WHOOOO HOOOOO! Please say a little prayer for her!! :o)
And in other news... no Baby H yet! I did clean the microwave at 6:30am today. Nesting a bit... maybe that's a good sign!
Today I got an email from her...
SHE'S SEEING A NAPRO DOCTOR AND CHARTING CREIGHTON!!!!!!!! WHOOO HOOOO! SHE'S NOT GOING TO DO IVF!!!!
WHOOOO HOOOOO! Please say a little prayer for her!! :o)
And in other news... no Baby H yet! I did clean the microwave at 6:30am today. Nesting a bit... maybe that's a good sign!
Monday, October 1, 2012
The Weight Issue
It's no secret I've had a lifetime issue with my weight and body image. I've been super heavy, "normal" and everywhere in between. I've spent the majority of my life trying to lose weight. It's the norm for me. I've rarely not been on a diet or at least thinking/knowing I need to be.
I spent the the last year and a half losing weight as part of my 'plan' to be able to conceive. I was very successful at it. I lost over 100lbs. I felt and dare I say looked pretty good. But I still had issues. I was constantly comparing myself to others who were on the same weight loss journey. I didn't lose exactly like them. I didn't lose as much. I didn't lose as fast. At times I considered myself a failure, even when my weight was falling just like it was suppose to and I was working out at the gym like a champ.
Now I'm pregnant. Praise the Lord! Have the weight/body image issues gone away? Nope. To be clear, I'm not complaining. I have loved loved loved being pregnant. It's been such a blessing. But that does not make it all easy.
The weight gain has mentally been one of the hardest parts of pregnancy. I don't mind gaining the needed weight. I would gain a zillion pounds if it meant bringing this precious little boy into the world. But it's been hard.
It has been a hard shift in my thought process. When you've spent almost every year since 3rd grade (when the chubbiness began) feeling fat and knowing the gaining weight is "BAD," suddenly being ok with gaining weight is not the easiest mind shift. I have mostly been ok with it... but watching that number go up and up and up again has caused a lot of anxiety.
It all started about week 22...
I was feeling great, had a tiny tiny baby bump. I still didn't look too pregnant, which to be honest, did bother me. I wanted to look pregnant - not just heavy like I had my whole life. I didn't want people to think I was just gaining my weight back, which is kind of what it looked like then.
At the same time, I had my 18 month post-weight loss surgery follow-up. The dietitians said I was doing great. I had been in touch with them a lot about making sure I was getting all the nutrients and vitamins I was needing. They were thrilled with my weight gain, as weird as that sounds!
After my meeting with the supportive dietitian, I headed to see the doctor. My surgeon also knew I was pregnant and had been supportive of all our TTC efforts. But I didn't see her that day. I saw the Physician Assistant instead.
It. Was. Horrible.
She came in (without reviewing my chart apparently) and the conversation went something like this:
"You've gained weight. We have a serious problem."
"I'm pregnant."
"Was this planned?" (Insert judgmental tone here)
"Yes, we had been trying for several years."
"You mean you meant to get pregnant before you met your weight loss goals?"
"Yep, sure did. I consider myself very blessed to have conceived this baby boy."
"Hmmm... well, I hope it comes off again after you have the baby."
I was crushed. I was caught between wanting to smack her and crying. I just shook my head and ran out the door.
Ever since then, I haven't known how to really deal with the weight gain. My OB is not in the least concerned. I'm right on track. But I was and still am in some ways, all of the sudden, afraid the weight will not come off after baby boy is born. Man, that PA lady messed with my mind!
I have tried to keep an open mind. Knowing that while I will have to get back on the weight loss bandwagon once again after I give birth, I am starting from a healthier place to begin with. I am trying to focus on the fact that a lot of this weight is mostly belly and baby and it's very different than when I would normally gain 30 + pounds. To be truthful, it really is. This weight gain is different. I don't look the same I did at the same weight before. I'm still in smaller clothes. My face looks different. I feel different - better than I did when I was still over 70lbs heavier than I am now.
I just constantly have to remind myself of that over and over and over. Doug has to constantly remind me over and over and over.
So that is where I'm at. It's not the aches and pains that have been the hard part of pregnancy, but this. I will just have to try and try again to win this weight mind game. It is not easy and I know it will be with me my entire life. It will be... but hopefully the weight will not be. But in the end, I must remember how far I've come and be proud of that!
Looking at this puts it back into prospective. Me and Sew (pregnant with Hannah!) before my surgery in 2010. I was at my heaviest - ever. Then me and Daisy at 38 weeks this past Sunday. Yep, this is something I can be proud of. ;O)
I spent the the last year and a half losing weight as part of my 'plan' to be able to conceive. I was very successful at it. I lost over 100lbs. I felt and dare I say looked pretty good. But I still had issues. I was constantly comparing myself to others who were on the same weight loss journey. I didn't lose exactly like them. I didn't lose as much. I didn't lose as fast. At times I considered myself a failure, even when my weight was falling just like it was suppose to and I was working out at the gym like a champ.
Now I'm pregnant. Praise the Lord! Have the weight/body image issues gone away? Nope. To be clear, I'm not complaining. I have loved loved loved being pregnant. It's been such a blessing. But that does not make it all easy.
The weight gain has mentally been one of the hardest parts of pregnancy. I don't mind gaining the needed weight. I would gain a zillion pounds if it meant bringing this precious little boy into the world. But it's been hard.
It has been a hard shift in my thought process. When you've spent almost every year since 3rd grade (when the chubbiness began) feeling fat and knowing the gaining weight is "BAD," suddenly being ok with gaining weight is not the easiest mind shift. I have mostly been ok with it... but watching that number go up and up and up again has caused a lot of anxiety.
It all started about week 22...
I was feeling great, had a tiny tiny baby bump. I still didn't look too pregnant, which to be honest, did bother me. I wanted to look pregnant - not just heavy like I had my whole life. I didn't want people to think I was just gaining my weight back, which is kind of what it looked like then.
At the same time, I had my 18 month post-weight loss surgery follow-up. The dietitians said I was doing great. I had been in touch with them a lot about making sure I was getting all the nutrients and vitamins I was needing. They were thrilled with my weight gain, as weird as that sounds!
After my meeting with the supportive dietitian, I headed to see the doctor. My surgeon also knew I was pregnant and had been supportive of all our TTC efforts. But I didn't see her that day. I saw the Physician Assistant instead.
It. Was. Horrible.
She came in (without reviewing my chart apparently) and the conversation went something like this:
"You've gained weight. We have a serious problem."
"I'm pregnant."
"Was this planned?" (Insert judgmental tone here)
"Yes, we had been trying for several years."
"You mean you meant to get pregnant before you met your weight loss goals?"
"Yep, sure did. I consider myself very blessed to have conceived this baby boy."
"Hmmm... well, I hope it comes off again after you have the baby."
I was crushed. I was caught between wanting to smack her and crying. I just shook my head and ran out the door.
Ever since then, I haven't known how to really deal with the weight gain. My OB is not in the least concerned. I'm right on track. But I was and still am in some ways, all of the sudden, afraid the weight will not come off after baby boy is born. Man, that PA lady messed with my mind!
I have tried to keep an open mind. Knowing that while I will have to get back on the weight loss bandwagon once again after I give birth, I am starting from a healthier place to begin with. I am trying to focus on the fact that a lot of this weight is mostly belly and baby and it's very different than when I would normally gain 30 + pounds. To be truthful, it really is. This weight gain is different. I don't look the same I did at the same weight before. I'm still in smaller clothes. My face looks different. I feel different - better than I did when I was still over 70lbs heavier than I am now.
I just constantly have to remind myself of that over and over and over. Doug has to constantly remind me over and over and over.
So that is where I'm at. It's not the aches and pains that have been the hard part of pregnancy, but this. I will just have to try and try again to win this weight mind game. It is not easy and I know it will be with me my entire life. It will be... but hopefully the weight will not be. But in the end, I must remember how far I've come and be proud of that!
Looking at this puts it back into prospective. Me and Sew (pregnant with Hannah!) before my surgery in 2010. I was at my heaviest - ever. Then me and Daisy at 38 weeks this past Sunday. Yep, this is something I can be proud of. ;O)
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Ahhhhh!!! Thanks!!!!!!
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you everyone! I was sooooo surprised! I thought Beth was just bringing me a little bag of clothes today... not a City Mini Stroller!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!
Cannot thank you all enough!!!! Wowzers! I'm still in awe!!!
My heart’s overflowing with
GRATEFULNESS,
BLESSINGS,
GRATITUDE,
THANKFULNESS,
and APPRECIATION
to the Lord for you!
LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, September 27, 2012
37+5 update!
Wow! I'm almost 38 weeks! I cannot believe I'm considered full term right now. Baby boy could come anytime. It still does not feel real - at all. I know we have baby stuff in the house. I can feel him move all the time. But when it comes to realizing that there will be a baby in the house... it still seems surreal.
How far along: 37 weeks, 5 days!
Total weight gain: Right around 30lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yep. I have a few favorite items that I just wear over and over. I have one non-maternity, super big pair of sweats that I live in at home. They are the kind of pants you can't leave the house in, but they are the only pair that work with my belly.
Sleep: Well... I do get some, when I'm not running back and forth to the bathroom. It's becoming more and more difficult to get comfortable. I LOVE being pregnant and would not trade it for anything, but I do admit I am looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again. The advantage to sleeping on my side - baby moves a lot when I lay down. Flipping over in the middle of the night is very interesting and takes a lot of effort. Baby boy always starts moving after that. Hehe. I do love that. I'm still crazy addicted to body pillow and my pregnancy wedge. Cannot sleep without those things.
Cravings: HAMBURGERS! All I want is some good beef. I do not like beef! At all! I usually have a hamburger once, maybe twice, a year. Doug is loving this side of me because I never cook beef. But now, it's all I want. Still don't have it all that often, but waaaaaay more often than normal.
Best moment this week: Watching my belly move up and down. It is amazing how it feels now. It was just flips and kicks before and now my whole shirt will move up and down. LOVE IT!!
Movement: TONS! Sometimes it almost feels like he is trying to get out!
Labor signs: I don't think so. My stomach gets really tight sometimes - maybe that is a braxton hicks contraction?? Who knows. I was checked by my OB last week and I was a whooping 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. It really doesn't mean much except my body is getting ready for labor. That is good to know. After not trusting my body for so long, it's nice to know it is working!
Belly Button in or out? In.
Weekly wisdom: From my favorite gal Hebrews, "Just an fyi for you: dogs eat baby socks." This is something we are already painfully aware of. Daisy has taken socks off TWO babies before. TWO! Went up and pulled those little socks off the baby and ran. Could not have cared less about the baby... but the socks she wanted! We are in trouble!
Milestones: I was officially considered 'full term' this past Sunday. ;)
Uncomfortable Moments: Getting up. Walking. Sitting. Not all the time, but there are times when I get up and make groaning noises. Yep, I have an official 'getting up' noise. I think it helps me get up. Hehe.
Favorite Moments: Sitting in the nursery this week when I had finally put all the stuff away. I teared up and just took it all in. I never thought that our spare room would have a crib in it. It was such a calming moment. Loved it.
Funny moment of the week: Daisy is a very routine puppy. She knows that when I grab some treats and say, "Let's go take a picture!" that it is belly picture time. She runs over and sits in front of the sign now. Hehe. I've trained her well.
How far along: 37 weeks, 5 days!
Total weight gain: Right around 30lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yep. I have a few favorite items that I just wear over and over. I have one non-maternity, super big pair of sweats that I live in at home. They are the kind of pants you can't leave the house in, but they are the only pair that work with my belly.
Sleep: Well... I do get some, when I'm not running back and forth to the bathroom. It's becoming more and more difficult to get comfortable. I LOVE being pregnant and would not trade it for anything, but I do admit I am looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again. The advantage to sleeping on my side - baby moves a lot when I lay down. Flipping over in the middle of the night is very interesting and takes a lot of effort. Baby boy always starts moving after that. Hehe. I do love that. I'm still crazy addicted to body pillow and my pregnancy wedge. Cannot sleep without those things.
Cravings: HAMBURGERS! All I want is some good beef. I do not like beef! At all! I usually have a hamburger once, maybe twice, a year. Doug is loving this side of me because I never cook beef. But now, it's all I want. Still don't have it all that often, but waaaaaay more often than normal.
Best moment this week: Watching my belly move up and down. It is amazing how it feels now. It was just flips and kicks before and now my whole shirt will move up and down. LOVE IT!!
Movement: TONS! Sometimes it almost feels like he is trying to get out!
Labor signs: I don't think so. My stomach gets really tight sometimes - maybe that is a braxton hicks contraction?? Who knows. I was checked by my OB last week and I was a whooping 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. It really doesn't mean much except my body is getting ready for labor. That is good to know. After not trusting my body for so long, it's nice to know it is working!
Belly Button in or out? In.
Weekly wisdom: From my favorite gal Hebrews, "Just an fyi for you: dogs eat baby socks." This is something we are already painfully aware of. Daisy has taken socks off TWO babies before. TWO! Went up and pulled those little socks off the baby and ran. Could not have cared less about the baby... but the socks she wanted! We are in trouble!
Milestones: I was officially considered 'full term' this past Sunday. ;)
Uncomfortable Moments: Getting up. Walking. Sitting. Not all the time, but there are times when I get up and make groaning noises. Yep, I have an official 'getting up' noise. I think it helps me get up. Hehe.
Favorite Moments: Sitting in the nursery this week when I had finally put all the stuff away. I teared up and just took it all in. I never thought that our spare room would have a crib in it. It was such a calming moment. Loved it.
Funny moment of the week: Daisy is a very routine puppy. She knows that when I grab some treats and say, "Let's go take a picture!" that it is belly picture time. She runs over and sits in front of the sign now. Hehe. I've trained her well.
"Is is picture time mama?"
She loves the treats. I love my belly.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Maternity Pictures!
We originally were not going to have maternity pictures taken... and now I'm SO GLAD we did. They make me tear up just looking at them! Love love love!
"I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request."
1 Samuel 1:27
"I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request."
1 Samuel 1:27
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Intentions Anyone??
I am starting to gather up a list of intentions to pray for while I'm in labor. If you would like me to pray for a specific intention, person, etc.... please let me know! Either leave me a comment here or shoot me an email. My email is in my profile on here.
Only three weeks left until my due date!!!!!!!!
Only three weeks left until my due date!!!!!!!!
Friday, September 21, 2012
It's all ok.
My car is back in the shop. Looks like a good $1000 in repairs.
My phone has decided to self-destruct. It refuses to charge.
My husband is stressed to the max with school stuff, home stuff, etc.
But... it's all ok. It will be ok.
When the car guy called me today, I just took in a big sigh and said a little prayer. I thanked God for all my blessings. Even among the unpleasant call... there are SO MANY blessings all around me.
I just need to stop and think about them more often. To really be truly thankful for all that I have.
The day I posted the August stuff... some blankets arrived in the mail. You gals were right... no need to buy blankets! And... thanks for all the prayers... they are working.
While August was filled with unpleasantness... at the same time, there was so much good stuff. SO MUCH!
So this post will focus on that!
My phone has decided to self-destruct. It refuses to charge.
My husband is stressed to the max with school stuff, home stuff, etc.
But... it's all ok. It will be ok.
When the car guy called me today, I just took in a big sigh and said a little prayer. I thanked God for all my blessings. Even among the unpleasant call... there are SO MANY blessings all around me.
I just need to stop and think about them more often. To really be truly thankful for all that I have.
The day I posted the August stuff... some blankets arrived in the mail. You gals were right... no need to buy blankets! And... thanks for all the prayers... they are working.
While August was filled with unpleasantness... at the same time, there was so much good stuff. SO MUCH!
So this post will focus on that!
I got to hang out with this blogger!
I touched a goat! Maybe I should add that to the unpleasant August post!
I got to hang out with my cute godson. :)
I HAD TWO BABY SHOWERS!!!!!!!!!!
We (well, Doug) put up a crib in our house! A BABY CRIB!!!
I got to see my dad do 'Grandpa' stuff. He's in the plaid helping my FIL put up the Pack-N-Play.
I got to see my dad do 'Grandpa' stuff. He's in the plaid helping my FIL put up the Pack-N-Play.
My mom and dad came to visit! I hadn't seen them in a long time. It was so fun and I had missed them so much that when they were going to leave I started to cry and stomp my feet like a three year old. They stayed one extra day. Hehe. ;) Three year old behavior totally worked!
I watched my belly grow.
And most of all... I spent lots of time hanging out with these two cuties.
See... It's all ok!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Hard Times. Dang Garage.
I didn't post a single thing all of August.
It was a mixed month. There were some really great times (I'll post about the good stuff later in the week) and there were some well... really horrible times. Nothing life threatening. I'm fine. The baby is doing great. Doug is good. Doug's parents are good. My parents are still hanging in there - mom's using a walker now due to a broken foot and my dad is sporting not one, but two canes. But all in all - everyone is OK.
But it was still one of the hardest months we've had as a married couple. We are getting along great... it's not that. It was just one of those months that we wanted to put behind us and never see again. I thought we had done that.
Until yesterday. Welcome September.
I got a call from Doug who was at work about an hour away from our house. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "Standing next to my dead car."
I held it together while he told me his plan. Luckily, his parents live in the town where he works and help was on the way. I hung up the phone, took a deep breath and then just started crying... and screaming... and yelling... and crying. I didn't stop for a long time.
It should not have been such a big deal. It was a car. It would be fixed and he would drive it again. No problem. But it all just added up to everything that happened in August and it was overwhelming to me.
To put it mildly, August sucked.
We started the month with high hopes.
We were having a few *minor* home repairs done. I considered it part of the 'nesting' process. We wanted it all done before Doug headed back to school in the fall. We needed to get the trim on our house painted. We got paint on sale and found some great guys to scale to the very top of our house to do the job! Yippee!
They were also going to fix up a little rotted wood on the front of the garage.
They did paint. It looks great. But they couldn't fix the garage. Why???
Well... that little spot of rotted wood that had just appeared, was actually an entire frame of our garage that was rotted. ROTTED to the freakin' core!
What was going to be a few hundred dollar repair, ended up costing several upon several thousands and thousands of dollars and then some. The damage was probably there for years and had finally made it's way to the surface. There was no way we could have known it was there. We had to bring in a structural engineer. The garage had to be re-framed. Siding taking down. Garage door down. New frame.
It still makes me sick. It all had to be paid in cash. We were lucky we had it.
However, letting that money go has come at a really high cost.
You see, it was my maternity leave money. It was all the money we had saved so I could be off work for several months and be home with the baby.
NONE of my maternity leave is paid. UGH! And now all the money we had saved, that we needed for me to stay home, is gone - spent on the very much needed, but ugh repair of the freakin' garage.
That dang garage.
At the very same time of the garage repair, we had an electrician at our house for repairs. We had carpet people. And my car was getting lots of work done and it was in the shop.
Dang August.
Now I stew everyday in a big ball of stress.
I found out this week that I have to pay all my insurance premiums while I'm off on my unpaid maternity leave. I was thinking it would be a few hundred dollars. Silly me. Think again - it will be several thousand of dollars. Which we don't have because of that dang garage. That on top of not getting paid for several months, makes me feel like I can't breathe.
I'm trying not to stress. Not to think about all the stuff we still need for the baby. I've been searching for items at thrift stores, finding great deals at garage sales and selling a ton of stuff too.
I'm really trying to sort out wants from real needs for the baby and our lives in general. But it's hard.
I want so much to buy great baby gifts for all my friends. I had some all ready to purchase and I couldn't do it. I'm in a bible study that is costing money for the next several months. I never thought that doing a bible study would be stressful, but hitting the 'purchase' button and signing up was hard to do. My phone is on a quick spiral downhill and I was hoping for a new camera to take pictures of our little miracle. And heck... this girl wants a baby jogger city mini stroller!
But those are my wants. They are not needs right now. In the end, I know that it will all be fine. Everyone goes through this, we are not unique. Things could be much much much worse. That is not lost on me. I know that despite that dang garage and August, we are still very very blessed.
But right now, it's just scary. I know we will make it, just haven't figured out the plan. I like a plan. So today, it's overwhelming and I needed to vent. I'm trying to just trust that God will provide... and I know He will. But it still feels overwhelming. I don't know how to relinquish it all over to Him. I know I need to.
I/we need some prayers. So if you could spare some, they would be greatly appreciated.
I came across this on FB the other day... it's true. Easier said than done... but I'm working on it. Thanks for the prayers ladies.
It was a mixed month. There were some really great times (I'll post about the good stuff later in the week) and there were some well... really horrible times. Nothing life threatening. I'm fine. The baby is doing great. Doug is good. Doug's parents are good. My parents are still hanging in there - mom's using a walker now due to a broken foot and my dad is sporting not one, but two canes. But all in all - everyone is OK.
But it was still one of the hardest months we've had as a married couple. We are getting along great... it's not that. It was just one of those months that we wanted to put behind us and never see again. I thought we had done that.
Until yesterday. Welcome September.
I got a call from Doug who was at work about an hour away from our house. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "Standing next to my dead car."
I held it together while he told me his plan. Luckily, his parents live in the town where he works and help was on the way. I hung up the phone, took a deep breath and then just started crying... and screaming... and yelling... and crying. I didn't stop for a long time.
It should not have been such a big deal. It was a car. It would be fixed and he would drive it again. No problem. But it all just added up to everything that happened in August and it was overwhelming to me.
To put it mildly, August sucked.
We started the month with high hopes.
We were having a few *minor* home repairs done. I considered it part of the 'nesting' process. We wanted it all done before Doug headed back to school in the fall. We needed to get the trim on our house painted. We got paint on sale and found some great guys to scale to the very top of our house to do the job! Yippee!
They were also going to fix up a little rotted wood on the front of the garage.
They did paint. It looks great. But they couldn't fix the garage. Why???
Well... that little spot of rotted wood that had just appeared, was actually an entire frame of our garage that was rotted. ROTTED to the freakin' core!
What was going to be a few hundred dollar repair, ended up costing several upon several thousands and thousands of dollars and then some. The damage was probably there for years and had finally made it's way to the surface. There was no way we could have known it was there. We had to bring in a structural engineer. The garage had to be re-framed. Siding taking down. Garage door down. New frame.
It still makes me sick. It all had to be paid in cash. We were lucky we had it.
However, letting that money go has come at a really high cost.
You see, it was my maternity leave money. It was all the money we had saved so I could be off work for several months and be home with the baby.
NONE of my maternity leave is paid. UGH! And now all the money we had saved, that we needed for me to stay home, is gone - spent on the very much needed, but ugh repair of the freakin' garage.
That dang garage.
At the very same time of the garage repair, we had an electrician at our house for repairs. We had carpet people. And my car was getting lots of work done and it was in the shop.
Dang August.
Now I stew everyday in a big ball of stress.
I found out this week that I have to pay all my insurance premiums while I'm off on my unpaid maternity leave. I was thinking it would be a few hundred dollars. Silly me. Think again - it will be several thousand of dollars. Which we don't have because of that dang garage. That on top of not getting paid for several months, makes me feel like I can't breathe.
I'm trying not to stress. Not to think about all the stuff we still need for the baby. I've been searching for items at thrift stores, finding great deals at garage sales and selling a ton of stuff too.
I'm really trying to sort out wants from real needs for the baby and our lives in general. But it's hard.
I want so much to buy great baby gifts for all my friends. I had some all ready to purchase and I couldn't do it. I'm in a bible study that is costing money for the next several months. I never thought that doing a bible study would be stressful, but hitting the 'purchase' button and signing up was hard to do. My phone is on a quick spiral downhill and I was hoping for a new camera to take pictures of our little miracle. And heck... this girl wants a baby jogger city mini stroller!
But those are my wants. They are not needs right now. In the end, I know that it will all be fine. Everyone goes through this, we are not unique. Things could be much much much worse. That is not lost on me. I know that despite that dang garage and August, we are still very very blessed.
But right now, it's just scary. I know we will make it, just haven't figured out the plan. I like a plan. So today, it's overwhelming and I needed to vent. I'm trying to just trust that God will provide... and I know He will. But it still feels overwhelming. I don't know how to relinquish it all over to Him. I know I need to.
I/we need some prayers. So if you could spare some, they would be greatly appreciated.
I came across this on FB the other day... it's true. Easier said than done... but I'm working on it. Thanks for the prayers ladies.
Friday, July 27, 2012
The best of times... and the notsogood
I had an appointment today with my OB. Love her! She is fantastic. It was a jammed packed appointment... Gestational Diabetes testing, lab work, ultrasound and the visit with my OB.
I had been a little worried about the GD testing. I knew I'd pass, for I regularly check my blood sugar. It's always normal, so I was not worried. I WAS worried about taking the actual test. My body cannot handle a whole bunch of sugar well. Especially highly concentrated sugar in a little bottle. But I have had sweets before, so I thought it *might* go ok and I didn't want to refuse the testing. I had talked about it with my OB and since there is a family history of diabetes and GD, I decided to give it a go.
Boy, was I wrong about it going ok.
I chugged the drink like a champ, squinting the entire time. That stuff is nasty. Granted, I never drink anything sweet like that, since I'm a water, tea, milk gal. I had my ultrasound right after.
I LOVE ultrasounds. LOVE THEM! I never want them to end, for I could stare at the screen forever. However, a few minutes into the scan and I started thinking... 'I hope this ends soon, I don't feel so good.' But I pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on that sweet baby on the screen.
We oooohed and ahhhhed at baby boy and then, all of the sudden, the u/s tech (who was wonderful!) told Doug to grab the trash can and quick. She hoisted me up and said that she thought I didn't feel well. She was right. I was pale (well, I'm always pale) and shaky and could not hold it in.
Bye bye glucose drink.
Oh well. It's not the end of the world. My OB said I do not have to repeat the testing, unless something happens. Whoot! I will just continue occasionally testing my blood sugar at home.
I was planning on going to work after my appointment. Instead, Doug and I ran and got some great food and spent the day resting. The shaky feeling from the drink didn't go away for a long time. But... hours later, I'm feeling much better and not planning on drinking any sugar anytime soon!
Now... for the good stuff!
Baby Boy is doing great! He weighs 3 pounds and has a little bit of hair! He was in a great position during the scan (pre-puking!), so we were able to really get a good look at him. Oh, how I love that baby! I just started crying when I saw his sweet face.
Here is he!
I had been a little worried about the GD testing. I knew I'd pass, for I regularly check my blood sugar. It's always normal, so I was not worried. I WAS worried about taking the actual test. My body cannot handle a whole bunch of sugar well. Especially highly concentrated sugar in a little bottle. But I have had sweets before, so I thought it *might* go ok and I didn't want to refuse the testing. I had talked about it with my OB and since there is a family history of diabetes and GD, I decided to give it a go.
Boy, was I wrong about it going ok.
I chugged the drink like a champ, squinting the entire time. That stuff is nasty. Granted, I never drink anything sweet like that, since I'm a water, tea, milk gal. I had my ultrasound right after.
I LOVE ultrasounds. LOVE THEM! I never want them to end, for I could stare at the screen forever. However, a few minutes into the scan and I started thinking... 'I hope this ends soon, I don't feel so good.' But I pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on that sweet baby on the screen.
We oooohed and ahhhhed at baby boy and then, all of the sudden, the u/s tech (who was wonderful!) told Doug to grab the trash can and quick. She hoisted me up and said that she thought I didn't feel well. She was right. I was pale (well, I'm always pale) and shaky and could not hold it in.
Bye bye glucose drink.
Oh well. It's not the end of the world. My OB said I do not have to repeat the testing, unless something happens. Whoot! I will just continue occasionally testing my blood sugar at home.
I was planning on going to work after my appointment. Instead, Doug and I ran and got some great food and spent the day resting. The shaky feeling from the drink didn't go away for a long time. But... hours later, I'm feeling much better and not planning on drinking any sugar anytime soon!
Now... for the good stuff!
Baby Boy is doing great! He weighs 3 pounds and has a little bit of hair! He was in a great position during the scan (pre-puking!), so we were able to really get a good look at him. Oh, how I love that baby! I just started crying when I saw his sweet face.
Here is he!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The Six of Us
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